Witchcraft VI: The Devil’s Mistress (dir. Julie Davis, 1994)
I can’t really point to any details that made Witchcraft VI enjoyable to me. I think it was just the overall tone. There is something awesome about the way Witchcraft VI embraces its own trashiness. These movies have reached a point where they seem at peace with their own sleaziness. We’re not going to pretend these aren’t softcore porn, and just go for the boobs. The characters are going to smile and are going to dress well. We’re going to inject actual moments of humor and humanity, but only enough to keep the movie afloat in between sex scenes. Witchcraft VI, man. Not a good movie at all. But… well, kind of a good movie. It, at the very least, is settling into a sleazy groove.
Will is now played by Jerry Spicer, who was the unicyclist in Alligator II: The Mutation. He is now a divorce lawyer who is recruited by the police to aid them in a Satanic-looking killing; the victims have pentagrams inscribed on their bodies. The cops are Lutz and Gardner (Kurt Alan and John E. Holiday), and they are actually kind of appealing comic characters. They may be obnoxious at times (how many donut jokes can one make?), but they seem like real characters with a real chemistry. I think that’s what sets Witchcraft VI apart from its peers. It’s the only film so far that seems to have a sense of humor.
There is a scene wherein several phony psychics take turns fondling a brassiere looking for psychic vibrations. It’s implied that Satan is bisexual. There is a colorful secretary named Diana (or sometimes Diane), played by Jennifer Bransford. There is a scene wherein Diana walks down a hallway, goes to open a door, pauses, and then opens it. It’s a small, small moment, but a noticeable moment of comedic naturalness that none of these movies have had.
Oh yes, and there are breasts all over this thing. This is the first of the films to have pubic hair as well. The sex scenes are longer and sexier. But rather than feel like a sleazy slog, Witchcraft VI feels like a sleazy romp. One that wants to celebrate its own sleaziness. That’s not nothing. I doubt any of the future films will have this tone, so I’ll cherish it while I can.
Will stabs Satan. All is well.
Be sure to join me next week, as I will be talking about the 7th, 8th and 9th Witchcraft movies. I’m sure you can’t wait to see what I have to say. Until then, kids, stay topless.
Witney Seibold is a featured contributor on the CraveOnline Film Channel, co-host of The B-Movies Podcast and co-star of The Trailer Hitch. You can read his weekly articles Trolling, Free Film School and The Series Project, and follow him on “Twitter” at @WitneySeibold, where he is slowly losing his mind. If you want to buy him a gift (and I know you do), you can visit his Amazon Wish List.
