All-Star Western #23: Progress is Relative

 

Jonah Hex being shunted forward in time to the modern-day New 52 may feel a bit forced. In fact, in All-Star Western #23, writers Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti take a sardonic jab at the notion that this is an arc maybe they had to do to try and boost sales with a dialogue exchange about western fans being in short supply. That said, J&J may be taking this storyline in a different direction than I’d originally hoped, but they seem to be making the most of it.

Having broken out of Arkham Asylum by taking Dr. Jeremiah Arkham as a hostage – and after proving to Arkham (and Batman, for that matter) that he is indeed the geunine article and not a crazy person dressed up like a Confederate soldier wandering around Gotham City having shootouts with bank robbers) – Jonah Hex is now heading out of town trying to figure out a way to get back to where he belongs. Arkham, however, is trying to convince him that he might be stuck in the 21st century, and that brazen public gunplay is frowned upon, and that they’ve become a lot more civilized in the last 150 years or so. Hex doesn’t really buy it. “Ah noticed the guns are better at killin’ people. Is that yer idea a progress?”

After Arkham gets him to realize that the concept of “layin’ low until it blows over” doesn’t apply anymore, Hex insists they stop for a drink. Wouldn’t you know it, his unorthodox appearance encourages drunk locals to start somethin’ with him, not realizing that Hex practically invented barfighting. In fact, his skills at fisticuffs are enough to impress the bartender, and their fugitive status is enough to impress her hot friend, so it’s a night of the ol’ rumpy-pumpy for the hardened Hex and the discomfited doctor. The post-coital conversation with Gina about the modern day vs. the past elicits some of Hex’s views on society.

On the future: “It smells bad, there’s too much noise, too many people an’ ah don’t care fer it.”

On gay marriage: “Don’t much care either way, though ah ain’t fer sure what gays are.” After being told what they are: “Ah don’t care none ’bout that. Just don’t see the point in getting married or fighting for tha right ta do it.”

On equality: “If’n ya ask me, we always had a funny sense of justice an’ equality set ta benefit one group over another.”

“But we’ve come a long way toward fixing that.”

“Yer tellin’ me ain’t nobody dyin’ fer a god who promises heaven an’ lets ya live through hell? Ain’t nobody bein’ robbed or murdered or killed fer how they look?”

“No, all those things still happen.”

“An’ that’s why ah say give me a strong drink, a  good horse an’ a willing woman, an’ the rest of the world can go ta hell.”

 

This is why we like Jonah Hex. Although he’s probably going to have to explain that Confederate uniform to people soon.

Anyway, after ditching the hot car and getting a minivan, and apparently adding the women to their band on the run, they wind up hitting a small town where a breast cancer benefit is going on (“Whut’s the commotion with all them ladies?”), and they have the great misfortune of being present when a crazy jilted man comes driving through the crowd, running people down and loaded for bear in full on creepy mass shooting mode. Hex jumps into action by heading to a gun store to fill his hands, and then taking out the guy with a crack shot, and then spendin’ a lot of time helpin’ out the wounded despite the fact that it means the federales are gonna git him back in custody. It’s really hard not to start writing like that when you’re talking about a Jonah Hex book.

Anyhow, the kicker is when our hard-livin’ hero looks done in, about to spend the rest o’ his natural life in the clink, and Bruce Wayne shows up to provide legal counsel for one Jonah Woodson Hex.

When this whole time jump started, and Hex got locked up in Arkham Asylum, I was all geared up for run-ins with Two-Face or Professor Pyg or even Calendar Man, but none of that kind of thing has come to pass yet. Yet I don’t mind. All-Star Western has kept true to itself in the midst of all this – again pairing Hex with an Arkham in the midst of Gotham City, as it has for most of its run so far – even if that setting was crafted to keep the Old West yarns as plugged in as possible to the regular DCU. Now that there’s an implication that he may be lodged in modern-day for quite some time – and why wouldn’t he be? If you’re doing this story, you only do it once, and you get as much as you possibly can out of it while you’re doing it – I can have some patience to wait for his eventual run-ins with some bad guys what need gut-shot. Forever Evil promises a good deal of those.

In the meantime, the story thus far is pretty entertaining, and Hex’s perspective on things is always a lot of fun. Moritat may not be my favorite artist, since he has his share of awkward anatomy and weirdly-depicted action, but he definitely has his moments, such as Arkham’s discomfort with being mercilessly hit on and the first post-coital panel of Hex and Gina. He may not do right by every other character, but he always seems to do right by Hex.

All-Star Western #23 helps us settle in to what may be a long haul for Hex in the modern-day… or maybe his connection to Batman will find a way to put him back where he belongs in short order. We’ll have to see, but I trust J&J to make it a good time regardless.

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