Professional Darts Players Ignite Farting Controversy
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A recent game of professional darts was blanketed in the stench of controversy last week when two players accused each other of farting during their match. Instead of trading darts, one (or both) of the players gassed the room and the match went to crap…or at least that’s what it smelled like.
The flatulent foul took place at the Grand Slam Championship in Wolverhampton, England. The match was contested between Scotland’s Gary Anderson and Belgium’s Wesley Harms, both of whom accused the other of crop-dusting, presumably as a means of strategy, which, let’s be honest, is smart.
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“If the boy thinks I’ve farted, he’s 1,010 percent wrong,” Anderson said, according to The Guardian. “I swear on my children’s lives that it was not my fault. I had a bad stomach once onstage before and admitted it. So I’m not going to lie about farting on stage.”
According to recent reports, Anderson has had a habit of farting during matches in the past. Being the usual suspect, this leads one to automatically assume he’s the who dropped the stink bomb that led to the controversy. But according to him, there’s more to his smelly tactics than just farting, telling Express, “Usually if I fart on stage, I s—t myself.”
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The U.K.’s Professional Dart’s Corporation commented to local press that they need to get to the bottom of this. Although clear evidence shows it’s either Harms’ or Anderson’s bottom that is the source of the stank.
An investigation into “Fartgate” is well underway and the hope is the culprit will be identified and punishment will be swiftly handed down. As of the time of this writing, they’re still dealing with this shit, but all indications are the tournament has gained “poop”ularity.