A Gang Of Wild Turkeys Is Terrorizing A Small Town In Oregon With Their Poop

Photo: Jens_Lambert_Photography (Getty)

These turkeys fight dirty.

According to the East Oregonian, a flock of wild turkeys is wreaking havoc on the town of Pilot Rock, as they’re not only eating all of the vegetation in sight, but they’re also shitting on everything.

A Gang Of Wild Turkeys Is Terrorizing A Small Town In Oregon With Their Poop

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“I love wildlife, but this is getting to the point where it’s just ridiculous,” Pilot Rock resident Mary Ann Low said at a recent meeting. “Nothing is left. They dust bathe in the soil. They eat whatever is there.”

Low said she has seen as many as 68 birds in her mother’s yard, while others in town have complained about 15 or so hanging out on their trees. Some of them fancy shitting all over pickup trucks parked in driveways while others get their rocks off by ruining gardens.

Either way, residents have had enough. They have asked the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife to lay out several options to rid the town of the nuisance. Of course if they can’t come up with the right plan, there’s always the way of the gun. In fact, councilors have “debated what gauge of shotgun would best take care of the problem.”

And then there was this: There Was a Turkey Testicle Festival Recently And We Can’t Even Comprehend Why