There are so many different animals out there that it is impossible not to think about their origin story. That’s right, how the hell did these creatures come to be? Well, Twitter had the answer, of course. And all of them involve God being one creative dude. Check out some of the best “God Creating Animals” tweets below.
[god, creating ducks]
Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don’t know
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) January 15, 2015
[god creating bees]
Put a needle on its butt.
“Come on God, wha—”
Make its puke delicious.
“WTF.”— milty (@themiltron) April 8, 2015
[god inventing horses]
make a sexy donkey— dan mentos (@DanMentos) June 17, 2016
[God creating dogs]
Oh these turned out great. Im going to want all of these back at some point
— Ygrene (@Ygrene) March 31, 2016
When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You’re both now.
— Nathan Buckley (@duplicitron) May 18, 2013
[god making an emu]
how about you just take that pile of hay and give it legs i’m gonna go on a smoke break— Jhorts (@JhonRules) February 22, 2016
[god making pandas]
GOD: cow bears
ANGEL: what
GOD: did i fucken stutter
ANGEL:
GOD: take it a cow and make it a bear— jackson (@tricycle_champ) May 15, 2015
[god creating jellyfish]
how bout an evil bag
— milty (@themiltron) December 26, 2015
[God, creating pigeons]
Make them pace back and forth like a lawyer.— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) August 29, 2015
[God creating a turkey]
God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock…
Animal technician: Anything else?
God: Hang a nut-sack on it’s face lol— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) June 1, 2015
[god making chimps]
GOD: shrink a gorilla & make it smart
ANGEL: Ok. And what sound should it make?
G: literally just have it fucking scream— jackson (@tricycle_champ) June 13, 2015
[god drunk, inventing hedgehog]
so cute but u can’t cuddle it cuz, prickly quills or whatever, hahaha
[passes out] pic.twitter.com/h1o4Tn4Z65
— beth loves cake, so (@bourgeoisalien) April 5, 2016
[god creating whales]
“I want a fat blue piece of shit with a 20ft dick and it sings underwater. Also get me a beer. No wait five beers”— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) December 16, 2015
[god making bats]
GOD: just like a hairy black potato with wings
ANGEL: um
GOD:
ANGEL: god?
GOD: also it sleeps upside down like an idiot— jackson (@tricycle_champ) March 10, 2015
[god creating snakes]
how about a sock that’s angry all the time
— milty (@themiltron) November 21, 2015
[God inventing the hippo]
How bout a fat horse that’s always trying to sneak up on you in a pool pic.twitter.com/OadbNojhqQ
— tater tot bros (@thetits) March 7, 2016
h/t BuzzFeed
