Update: JediRabbit has reached out to inform us that the return of over thirty PS4s was in the space of two years, not one year as was previously reported.
Sit down, friends, for we are about to go down a rabbit hole… a JediRabbit hole, to be exact.
JediRabbit is a notorious user on the official PlayStation Forum, though I feel that it’s about time his continued issues with his PS4 consoles (and controllers, and games, and just about everything else to do with the PlayStation brand) was brought to the attention of a wider audience.
JediRabbit has made 1,829 posts on the PlayStation Forum, and counting. Of those posts, the vast majority consist of JediRabbit asking for help with perceived problems he has with a wide variety of PlayStation paraphernalia, questioning his increasingly irritated fellow forum members before opting to ignore their advice, returning his console to the store he bought it from and trying all over again. Reading his posts is essentially observing one man plummeting into a downward spiral of console-related paranoia, like the modern day equivalent of Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven except instead of an evil bird sitting on a bookshelf, it’s a $400 piece of hardware sitting in his TV unit.
The first issue JediRabbit had, and one that would become a recurring theme over the course of the next two years of his life, was the noise levels of his first PS4’s fans. Replying to a post questioning the volume of the console’s internal fans and whether they become louder depending upon the game, JediRabbit stated that the noise coming from out of his console was “nothing too loud,” but that he had “just wondered if this was the norm.”
However, fast-forward six months later and JediRabbit had already gone through six fucking consoles, returning them to what is inarguably the most understanding video game store on the entire planet. JediRabbit claimed that he returned three consoles “cause of the loudness,” which begs the question: what was wrong with the other two consoles he returned? Surely they looked at him funny?
But it doesn’t end there. Next, JediRabbit made a post regarding his concerns about his PS4’s temperature. “Can’t help but notice my PS4 console gets hot on top of the console,” he wrote, adding: “wouldn’t it benefit the PS4 console to have vents on top to help that hot air escape?” “Try drilling some holes in the top and see,” another user replied, to which JediRabbit responded: “ain’t got a drill.”
However, it seems that JediRabbit was unable to settle for his hot PS4, returning it and getting himself yet another brand new console. But this system was not without faults, either, with him later writing: “just got a brand new PS4 and started playing KZ but have noticed during play, a few times I have started shooting and the picture would freeze for around 1 second but I can still hear the gun firing.” He added: “am i just paranoid or is this just the game itself and framerate. would anything be wrong with my new console?”
He didn’t find a solution to his problem, but that hardly mattered because he returned to the forum again a few months later, nonchalantly referring to how he had now been through over 20 consoles in a post in which he had yet another fucking problem with a console.
BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE. A couple of months later he returned to the forums, claiming that the alleged issue of his DualShock 4 controller turning off had not been resolved, and had followed him through six more consoles over the space of two months. He had been refunded for six consoles within the space of 60 days. That’s ONE CONSOLE every 10 DAYS.
At this point the PlayStation Forum’s patience for JediRabbit was wearing thin, as evidenced by this post from PFC_Hudson.
JediRabbit’s response to this post? That he would take PFC_Hudson’s advice “more seriously” now.
This latest complaint caused JediRabbit’s fellow forum members to question just how many PS4s he has owned since the console’s launch:
How many consoles can one man return before he realizes that he is the problem?