The Malik Beasley Guide to Dating Famous Old Women While You’re Still Married
Oh, what a tangled web we weave. Well, not us, actually. Just Timberwolves shooting guard Malik Beasley, his wife model Montana Yao, and his new side-piece, Real Housewives of Miami alum Larsa Pippen.
Though Beasley, 24, and Yao, 23, have been married for an undetermined amount of time and share a son, that didn’t stop him from strolling through a Miami mall holding hands with Pippen, 46, last month. Images of the couple went viral, shocking fans and foes alike.
As insensitive as Beasley’s behavior was, the internet soon learned that Yao was just as caught by surprise by the scene as the rest of us.
“Wow…I don’t even know this man,” she wrote on her Instagram Stories. “The truth always comes out one way or another. I’ve always and will forever remain true to who I am and GOD has never let me down. Appreciate all the love y’all for real.”
Pippen clapped back in her own Instagram Story the next day with this cryptic message: “Don’t always trust what you see on social media. Even salt looks like sugar.”
As for Beasley? Mum’s the word. He’ll have to speak eventually, though, because Yao has filed for divorce. In the absence of his explanation, we’ve come up with this handy-dandy guide to dating famous old women while you’re still married.
Cover Photo: MEGA
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Don’t even hint that you’re unhappy in your marriage.
Why worry your wife over what she can’t change?
Find thee a cougar.
Don’t waste your cheating on someone exactly like your partner. Go older, thiccer, shorter.
Shoot your shot on Instagram.
Women love when men creep on their Instagram accounts and respond to thirst traps with date offers.
Take her to the mall.
Because shopping and women go together like athletes and adultery.
Hold hands in public.
It’s sweet and subtle – and it’s not like anyone will recognize you.
Let the internet do its thang.
If you’re not trending, it didn’t happen.
Bite your tongue.
Let the court of public opinion come to its own conclusions. Because that always turns out well.
Wait for the divorce papers to arrive.
Because you’re too lazy to file.
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