Your 15 Favorite Musicians Who Constantly Look Like They’re Taking A Crap Onstage
Photo: Douglas Mason (Getty Images)
Scientists claim that performing music in front of a live audience can lead to the brain’s synapses firing in strange ways, leading to a mixed bag of unplanned body spasms and facial contortions for poor, unsuspecting musicians. Despite all the genres of music, generations of players, and types of performers, the result often seems to be the same. Our favorite musicians look like they’re taking a crap on stage.
While no one can really hold a candle to Este Haim in this department, we’ve compiled a list of 15 of your favorite musicians who come pretty damn close. See if your fave made the list below.
Booze and music: Rockin’ Beers Brewed Or Inspired By Some Of Your Favorite Musicians
The king of the blues is also the Godfather of the crap face. They don't call it the Delta Blues for nothing.
Even the Thin White Duke lost his perfect composure from time to time. The cameras were there to catch one of the rare crap faces Bowie ever pulled.
This metalhead even gets hints of crap face just casually jamming out by himself. That's dedication.
This actor-turned-rock-god is known for being a physical comedian with a mastery of his face and limbs. But even he can't stop the power of music.
The king of the '90s college circuit made a name for himself with his Pentecostal-style stage antics, including a championship winning crap face.
When she sang it was like a ghost pepper taco coming back to haunt you at 3 a.m. after a night of hard drinking.
This smooth move operator brought a sensual mystique to the pantheon of crap faces.
Joe Walsh has played in legendary bands like The James Gang and The Eagles. No matter what the marquee says, his face reads: here comes a turd.
Rumor has it that even his "O" face doesn't hold the same level of unbridled enthusiasm and commitment that his guitar face does. Lucky us.
Some say Purple Rain was really a song about the time he drank too much purple drink while on tour in Alabama.
Back when Bon Jovi was breaking hearts all across the country, Sambora was right there beside him, taking craps onstage.
His legendary performance at Woodstock (while on a head full of acid) was the catalyst for an explosive career that would sometimes look awfully similar to explosive diarrhea.
Stevie Ray Vaughan
Considered by most to be the heir to the blues guitar throne, Vaughan was a soulful player who, when the spirit moved him, let his bowels tag along for the ride.
Raul Esparza (Who?)
Who says Broadway can't inspire high-level crap faces? Notice how Raul Esparza's face goes from gentle pleading-with-constipation to angry gonna-force-one-out-come-hell-or-high-water, during this lovely rendition of a Sondheim classic.
This Random Russian Lady
We don't know who she is, but in our book, she's a legend.