Coke’s Super Bowl Ad Is Scaring White People


Conservative white people love being scared. That's why you never see more than three Native Americans together at one time, and that's pretty much the reason the 2nd Amendment was created. Anyway, Coke is now apparently a malicious threat to your liberty and the foundation of our democracy because they had a bunch of kids singing "America The Beautiful" in different languages. Obviously its just another subversive plot by the Obama administration to shove diversity and harmony down our throats. Take it away Brietbart:

Executives at Coca Cola thought it was a good idea to run a 60 second Super Bowl ad featuring children singing "America the Beautiful" – a deeply Christian patriotic anthem whose theme is unity – in several foreign languages. The ad also prominently features a gay couple. Conservatives instantly lit up social media with objections, with many vowing to boycott the soda company's products. “If we cannot be proud enough as a country to sing 'American the Beautiful' in English in a commercial during the Super Bowl, by a company as American as they come — doggone we are on the road to perdition," said former GOP Rep. Allen West.The lyrics of the song, written in 1893 by Wellesley College Professor Katherine Lee Bates, ask God to grant America “brotherhood / From sea to shining sea.” As far as the executives at Coca Cola are concerned, however, the United States of America is no longer a nation ruled by the Constitution and American traditions in which English is the language of government. It is not a nation governed in the Anglo-American tradition of liberty. It is instead a nation governed by some all inclusive multi-cultural synthesis of the various forms of government in the world, as expressed by the multiple languages used in the Super Bowl ad to sing a uniquely American hymn that celebrates our heritage….The old “America the Beautiful” is beautiful because of the blessings God had heaped on it and because its government offers “liberty in law,” while aspiring for togetherness. Coca Cola's America is beautiful because of the differences in its people. When the company used such an iconic song, one often sung in churches on the 4th of July that represents the old “E Pluribus Unum” view of how American society is integrated, to push multiculturalism down our throats, it's no wonder conservatives were outraged.

You can skip the blockquote if you want, because I already pressed 1 for scared white person, and it translates to "since everybody in this commercial wasn't white and putting on a American flag pin and tying a yellow ribbon around their Jesus fish car magnet while singing in English, this is offensive to tradional Americans because oh god look at all these brown people walking around outside we can't stop them I think my daughter is having sex with one oh Jesus America guns founding fathers." That's pretty much it. White conservatives didn't see something onscreen that represented them, so it scared and offended them.  And pretty please, with fructose sugar on top, stop bringing up the Founding Fathers. You have no idea what would offend or scare them if they were alive today. Actually, I do. You know what would scare the Founding Fathers if they were alive today? Airplanes. Robots. Your iPhone. Ninja turtles. Humans singing the praises of the American dream from sea to shining sea? Not so much. Not to point out the obvious here, but the world doesn't go away when you close your eyes. You can build your fence and bunker if you want, but we'll all be outside having a Coke and a smile.


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