Paula Abdul is High

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Paula Abdul has been a judge on American Idol for like 7 years now, so you can see how easy it would be for her to show up one day and absolutely have no idea what the hell she’s doing. Like last night, when she told Jason Castro she didn’t like his second song, when in reality, Jason Castro didn’t even sing a second song. Paula must have gotten that confused. Mostly because instead of watching people sing, she was watching the grandfatherly dragon read bedtime stories to poor Hispanic kids by a giant oak tree. That or whatever other hallucination you might have when you dump a Vicodin bottle in your vodka, you drunk bitch.