A lot of people are saying that Kellie Pickler got new boobs, and Ryan Seacrest basically comes out and asks her, but I really can’t tell. Maybe it’s because I don’t know who Kellie Pickler is or I pretend not to know who she is out of sheer embarrassment because she’s from North Carolina. Raleigh is the Silicon Valley of the east coast, but this was our representative on the most popular show on television. Thanks for the overblown accent. She might as well be wearing a NASCAR hat and driving a 1997 Camaro with a boat hooked up to the back.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.