Lindsay Lohan Has Baggage

Hollywood man-eater Lindsay Lohan has revealed that she is looking for a boyfriend who can handle her crazy life and all the media attention that goes along with it. On a tear the last few months, hooking up with Chad Michael Murray, Jared Leto, Jonathan Rhys-Myers, Colin Farrell, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio del Toro, Leonardo DiCaprio and Shaun White just to name a few, Lohan now appears ready to settle down.

I have paparazzi following me every day. I’d like to have a boyfriend. It would be nice to have that security and to have someone to go to a movie with.”The actress reveals she needs a strong partner who has “confidence, loyalty and a good sense of humour, because I come with a lot of baggage”.

Girls with baggage are usually easy to handle. Just remember not to raise a clothes hanger in a threatening manner and depending on the circumstance, you might not want to ask them “Who’s your daddy?” during intimate moments, but no amount of patience and Zoloft would ever allow me to date Lindsay Lohan. At this point, sex with her would be like sticking your dong in a bowl of soup. You would just have to close your eyes and try not to think about all that DNA, because just like Prego, it’s in there.

Lindsay with Salma Hayek March 9th at the NY premiere of Ask The Dust:

Lindsay with Debbie Harry on March 9th at the Blondie Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Celebration: