Lohan Is Dating DiCaprio

Lindsay Lohan and Leonardo DiCaprio are allegedly together after celebrating New Year’s Eve at Lohan’s party in Miami. While recovering from an asthma attack she suffered a day earlier, DiCaprio reportedly visited her in the hospital.

Leo visited every night. He would sneak in through a back entrance wearing a cap which covered his face. He really helped her get through the ordeal. And he showered her with gifts and chocolates to keep her spirits up.”

I guess being a bulimic drug-addict has its advantages. That’s strange, because I typed the same thing in my eHarmony profile under “searching for,” but I didn’t get as many responses as you might think. To be honest, no one replied. For Lohan, this is a definite upgrade. I don’t know how she managed to go from Fes to one of the greatest actors of our generation; maybe January 2nd was like her Groundhog Day and she just kept trying until she found a way for DiCaprio to get hard by looking at a freckled skeleton. I’m not sure how asthma worked into the whole scenario, but when whores and bongs are involved, I guess anything is possible. Trust me, I know.

Lohan and Mom leaving the hospital on the 5th:

DiCaprio in Miami on the 1st: