Lindsay and Hilary are tough

Being the toughest spoiled Hollywood anorexic is like being the tallest midget, and it makes this the lamest “gang” feud of all time. The New York Daily News takes us back to Tuesday night in Hollywood, at the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood party, where “rival” gang leaders Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff divided guests into two factions on opposite sides of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel pool, then exchanged ominous glares all night long, apparently still carrying a grudge over their long-ago misguided rivalry for the affections of Aaron Carter.

On Lohan’s side: Kirsten Dunst, Nicole Richie, and DJ AM. On Team Duff: Kimberly Stewart, Joel Madden, Haylie Duff, Wilmer Valderrama, Greek shipping heir (and Mary-Kate Olsen boy toy) Stavros Niarchos and the “Laguna Beach” kids. An eyewitness reports:

“There was a lot of tension, a lot of evil looks. Nobody went into the other’s territory.”

I just thank god that everyone kept their cool and made it home alive. On a powder keg like that, glaring can turn to frowning or even scowling in a heartbeat, and then who would we have to make crappy Disney products? These people have lived desperate lives and they know the law of the jungle: when you dip your toe into the pool at the Roosevelt, two may enter, but only one will survive.