I Don’t Like Links In That Way

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~ Pictured: Fergie undressing Anna Kournakova and planning her lesbian tryst. Not pictured: The solution to the mystery of the giant floating hat in the top left hand corner.

~ I’ll ignore the misleading headline about Johnny Depp’s blurry high school memories just like I ignored the rest of the article, since even well intentioned quotes like

…Just get through it man, just get what you can get and keep moving.”

are enough to get me all fidgety reflecting on the times I spent learning to masturbate while watching 21 Jump Street and Officer Tom Hanson when I was barely a teenager.

Note – please keep in mind that there are two of us here. Jenny wrote this post. She masturbated to Johnny Depp. I masturbated to Peter Delouise. Just so there’s no confusion…

~ Either Kimberly Stewart has Ebola and her muscle has started to dissolve or a steady diet of cocaine, champagne and semen isn’t the secret to good health that the experts have led me to believe.