Kirstie Alley knows what’s best

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Following in the wee footsteps of Tom Cruise and his well publicized and poorly thought out tirade against psychiatry, fellow Scientologists Kirstie Alley and Kelly Preston have launched a public drive to restrict the use of medicines they believe cause suicide and violence among users.

Alley and Preston wrote an open letter to the Food and Drug Administration, which reads, “We can no longer sit back and let the clock tick, waiting for more deaths, suicides or people driven to violent acts by psychotropic drugs.”

Alley explains, “Parents in particular have been misled about the effects of these drugs. They are highly addictive; kids are using them more than street drugs to get high.”

Medically speaking, Kirstie Alley is a donut-based lump, so it’s kind of hard to take advice from her about how to be healthy. I have turned to others in the past for advice about how to take care of my body, but rarely have those people illustrated their points by waving a drumstick.

And Kelly Preston isn’t helping to soften us up for the aliens either by saying things like, “Eight out of the last 13 school shooters were taking prescribed psychiatric drugs…”. Although 8 out of 13 may sound like a lot, I would like to point out that 100 percent of Kelly’s current husbands have come onto me while I was bartending in Santa Monica. So maybe if she took some Zoloft she could cope with her denial and address the fact that her husband trolls for gay sex. Back off John. That rap may work with the runaways and desperate aspiring actors, but not with me.

These are pictures of Kirstie and Carmen Electra on the set of Fat Actress. I forget which one is which.