Bono nominated for the Nobel Prize

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When I go to the grade schools and speak to the young people of today, I’m often asked, “how do you do it,” “what’s your secret,” and “how do you score all the hot chicks?” To which I reply, “C’mon you guys, leave me alone.” Because I’m the janitor.

And while that has nothing to do with Bono being up for the Nobel Peace Prize, seriously, what am I supposed to say about Bono and the Nobel Peace Prize. The idea is clearly retarded. A billionaire holding a press conference to talk about poor countries not paying back money they owe hardly seems like the kind of dirty work you should have to do to win the Nobel Prize. Based on a bunch of stuff I made up, he wouldn’t be nearly so magnanimous if it was his money not getting paid back. All I know is, if Bono does win the Nobel Peace Prize, I’m totally giving mine back as a protest. But not the coupon book that came with it. (suck on that, Sweden!)