Cassandra From ‘Wayne’s World’ Is The Movie’s True Villain
In the sequel, which takes place one year later, Cassandra’s story has her cutting a record demo as her career is taking off. But this doesn’t mean Wayne isn’t still chasing her and has less to worry about.
We soon meet Bobby, Cassandra’s record producer — played by Christopher Walken — backstage after an Aerosmith concert. As Wayne and Garth join them, we find out Bobby and Cassandra have seemingly been together through the whole concert since we hear her tell Wayne that she’s sorry they couldn’t sit together. Right off the bat… there’s something afoot. Why wouldn’t you sit with your boyfriend? Why couldn’t your producer get you, a star, four tickets together? GET OUT, WAYNE!
Later, we find Cassandra and Bobby working again. Wayne and Garth visit, and pitch Wayne Stock to them, hoping Cassandra will commit to playing the gig. She’s honored at first, but is slowly forced out by Bobby, who claims she has some “real gigs” coming up. The problem here is that Cassandra doesn’t object at all to what he’s saying, and leaves Wayne humiliated. Gosh, maybe Jim Morrison should’ve been guiding Wayne more on what’s going on with his girlfriend instead of Wayne Stock.
Next, we’re in the bedroom again. And Wayne starts asking the hard questions. “Why is Cassandra with him?” She then claims to love being with him and that most guys are jerks. He follows this up by asking if she’s having an affair with Bobby. She denies it, and states that if this record deal falls through, she’ll lose her Visa and have to go back to Hong Kong. “You have nothing to worry about, Wayne.” Right. You know, for a faithful girlfriend, she laid all of this out pretty perfectly, don’t you think?
Things really start to go off the rails at the fundraiser for Wayne Stock. Bobby and Cassandra are in attendance. It’s here that Cassandra drops news on Wayne that Bobby is taking her to L.A. to do the final mix on the album. Seems like déjà vu, right? Remember, Benjamin did this same exact thing in the first movie and it wasn’t pretty. If you thought that was bad, just wait until you see how her and Bobby end up dancing together after Wayne gets cautious. Come on man, she’s grinding on his thigh in front of her boyfriend!
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Rightfully so, Wayne’s paranoia gets the better of him, and he takes Garth and his pals out to spy on Cassandra and Bobby at lunch. They instantly nail them kissing — friendly kissing, but still. In the following scene, Wayne tries breaking up with Cassandra while accusing her in regards to Bobby. Again, she denies it, only this time Wayne shows her the photos as proof just after she’s claimed nothing is going on. As a result, she doesn’t deny his accusations; she just decks him and that’s that.
We’re unsure if they broke up or not by this point, but we assume so. The questionable thing is, when we see Cassandra next, she’s in a meeting with Frankie Sharp from Sharp Records and reveals plans to play Wayne Stock. Is this Cassandra doing something for Wayne, her now ex-boyfriend? Or, doing something for her career again so she can (hopefully) play with the likes of rock legends Aerosmith, Van Halen and Pearl Jam? We have our guess…
The next scene is where things start to get strange. We appear to have jumped ahead in time a bit, as Cassandra is on with Leno, doing The Tonight Show. She gets big praise from Bobby on her performance. He also claims that she did great and that “they loved you. Me too…” Yeah, he threw that “me too” in there pretty slyly. This strange scene ends with Bobby asking her if she gave any thought to what he said. It’s not revealed what that was, but Cassandra claims that she’s still thinking about it and to give her a week. Interesting, right Mr. Scream?
Cut to Wayne Stock. Things start to get REALLY weird now. There are no bands there to play, and Wayne’s mind is wondering where Cassandra is, since she never misses a gig… even though they just broke up/had a fight. The craziness ensues. A phone appears in mid-air for Wayne. It’s a call from Cassandra’s dad Jeff, who explains to Wayne that Cassandra is marrying Bobby because he offered security, a career and a green card. Forgetting how insane this plot line has gotten, Cassandra has really stooped to a new low here. Not only is she marrying the very guy Wayne accused her of stepping out on him with, but it’s also her producer to further her career AND get a green card. I think I’m truly gonna hurl. Maybe Wayne would have been better off with Stacy from the first Wayne’s World. Sure, she was a total nutbag, but at least she was faithful and you knew where you stood.
Then, for some reason, Wayne decides to race to the wedding to object, win Cassandra back, and take her away from Bobby a la The Graduate. From there, they appear to go on living happily ever after. We’re still left wondering why. Cassandra clearly was in the wrong, the movie ends with Crucial Taunt never playing Wayne’s big show, and Jim Morrison tells Wayne that he had to learn that it doesn’t matter what he does, as Cassandra loves him for who he is. Uhhh, okay Jim, are you mental? Did you not see that she was just about to have a damn wedding with Bobby?? Wayne was never the person in question; it’s always been Cassandra! WHAT IS HAPPENING?
To conclude, Cassandra has had a pretty bad track record in these movies. Sure, the guys were all over her. And we’re not saying Wayne is in the clear either. He overreacts, he gets jealous, he wears the same outfit every day, and he’s quick to make accusations when one should first ask, “Why don’t you just go talk to her… talk to her… talk to her…” But come on, give the guy a break! Cassandra’s a hound dog for anyone who can get her ahead, regardless of whether it comes between her and Wayne. And we’re finally letting the record show it! Did she just ultimately use Wayne for his famed public access show to get exposure? Who knows. Did she end up getting deported? Who cares. One thing we do know: Cassandra is an awful girlfriend.
To borrow the words and tone of Meat Loaf during his Wayne’s World cameo as the bouncer outside of GasWorks: She sucks.