What Is the Greatest B Movie Ever?
Photo: AntonioGuillem (Getty Images)
When it comes to B movies, there are always some mixed reactions from the public. While some people despise the low-budget cinematic attempts that often make no sense and feature rather amateurish performances, others enjoy them for their resourcefulness, ingenuity, and quite simply being fun or ridiculous. Hoping that you’re more inclined to the latter, here are 10 B movies that we consider to be noteworthy, at least.
Hercules in New York (1969)
Let’s begin with Hercules in New York, a rather bad 1969 movie about, well, Hercules coming to New York City. You’ll notice that about B movies – they tend to be quite self-explanatory in the titles themselves. Anyways, Hercules (played by first-time-on-screen Arnold Schwarzenegger) interacts with naturally weird New Yorkers and it angers his father Zeus, who does everything in his power to get rid of him. This is one film that even Schwarzenegger himself admittedly regrets making.
OK, we’ve said that titles in B movies are usually self-explanatory, but Prophecy from 1979 works as an exception to the rule. This movie has nothing to do with a prophecy but instead revolves around a hideous mutant bear who goes around killing innocent, unsuspecting people. He is actually a result of improper nuclear waste disposal, which could be the main message behind the film, but it gets lost among countless silly scenes in the movie including a man exploding into a heap of feathers (it’s better that you don’t ask).
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
If you’re looking for depth in a B movie, the 1977 film called Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is probably not where you’ll find it. A simple premise – there is a possessed bed and it eats food, drinks and, obviously, people. You have to admire the creators of such a flick for actually being able to create an entire movie out of this absurd premise. You could say that the film is also an homage to a couple of works of art, but that would be an exaggeration. You simply have to see it to believe it.
Ninja Terminator (1985)
What’s better than a ninja and a terminator? Yes, Ninja Terminator, which just so happens to be a 1985 film by the infamous Godfrey Ho. “Why infamous?” you might ask. Mainly because he’s known for combining various parts of his movies into hybrids that make absolutely no sense. Ninja Terminator is one of those films that are both painful and a joy to watch. It’s a perfect movie to let your mind wander off.
Double Trouble (1992)
Using extremely muscular men in movies has always been an American trademark, but it exploded in the late 80s and early 90s, especially after the introduction of Arnold Schwarzenegger to the world of cinema. The movie Double Trouble from 1992 tries to take the Arnold formula and create some instant strongmen stars. These two bodybuilders play twins who are on a quest to take down some criminals even though one of them is bad and one good. Yeah, a shocking plot, but still masochistically enjoyable.
Horror Express (1972)
The poster for the 1972 movie Horror Express describes it perfectly. We see a naked woman being choked by an oversized, evil gorilla while there is a train somewhere in the distance. Indeed, the plot involves an evil (mutant?) gorilla being transferred via train to Whocaresville, while being safely frozen somewhere in the back. Obviously, he defrosts somehow and starts slaughtering his way through the train. It’s something like a miniature horrible version of King Kong.
Now, the Bibleman is actually a TV series, but its awful premise and production easily place it on our list. The main character is Miles Peterson, a man who, after losing everything, turns to faith and becomes a Christian superhero (of course, often quoting the Bible). The show was created with the idea of bringing children closer to God’s word by creating a character they can relate to. Needless to say, it failed miserably.
Dinosaur Island 1994
It’s not uncommon for American filmmakers to try and cash in on the existing franchises by creating various low-budget copies, hoping that one of them gets across and tricks some viewers into watching it. Just a year after the classic Jurassic Park was released came Dinosaur Island, a movie as unimaginative as its title. The laughable plot is something you can work out by yourself, but it’s actually the incredibly poor special effects that bring home the prize. You can find the whole movie on YouTube, which says a lot.
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
While the first Mortal Kombat movie released in 1995 managed to get some accolades, mostly thanks to the amazing soundtrack that became the number one workout track, its sequel was a complete B-movie disaster. The second movie has none of the original cast (except for Robin Shou for some reason) and obviously no script or budget. The movie is famous for having one of the worst lines in cinematic history delivered in the most unnatural way possible. The rest of it isn’t any better.
The Room (2003)
If you’ve never seen the Room by Tommy Wiseau, shame on you. It is rightfully considered one of the worst films ever made, but that’s exactly why it’s such a joy to watch it. The movie was written and directed by Tommy Wiseau who also stars in it. The Room tries so hard to be a serious drama but constantly fails because of the bad script and disastrous acting, mainly by Tommy himself. There are inconsistencies, repeated scenes, plot holes and some really unnatural dialogue that make up one terrifically bad movie. In fact, the process of making the movie was far more interesting, which will be depicted in The Disaster Artist, later this year.
What bad movies would you add to the list? Do you love them or hate them? Tell us why.