Get Drunk on Election Night with These Lifesaving Cocktails

It’s Election Day and the end of a Presidential Campaign Season that timed out just slightly longer than the Pelyponesian Wars with double the body count. As Americans (both alive and dead) head to the polls today, the media will obsess over every possible analysis and prediction.

This rteporter can end all of thr suspense hours early and tell you exactly who will win once the voting booths close tonight. You read it here first, but the next President of the United States will be…A money grubbing, lawbreaking egomaniac. I leave you to decode that result.

There is one other prediction that’s easy to make today. You’re probably going to need a drink tonight – or piles of drinks – depending on who you might be rooting for tonight. If you’re rooting for the health of our nation and the purity of our legal system, there’s no amount of alcohol that will help you.

Below you’ll find a collection of Election Night-themed cocktails to keep you refreshed during the days highs and lows. None of the spirit distillers or mixer manufacturers listed here encourage drinking to excess and none of them condone my suggestion to avoid this Election Night’s misery by becoming intoxicated. We will forgive them their naivety becasuse tonight may very well call for distilled distraction.

Star-Spangled Supercooler (Top)


  1. 1 Part Reisling
  2. 1 Part Pomegranate Blueberry Sparking Ice
  3. Pomegranate Seeds
  4. Cranberries
  5. Teaspoon Agave
  6. Mint


Mix all in a pitcher, pour into wine glasses and add a mint leaf garnish.


Civic Cherry Cognac


  1. 1 Part Cognac
  2. 1 Part Black Cherry Sparkling Ice


Pour over ice into rocks glass and garnish with cherry.


Stars, Stripes & Sage


  1. 1 Part Coffee Liquer
  2. 2 Parts Black Raspberry Sparkling Ice
  3. Splash of Heavy Cream
  4. Sage Leaf (to garnish)


Mix coffee liqueur and Black Raspberry Sparkling Ice in cocktail glass. Just before serving, gently add cream and garnish with a sage leaf.


The Red Rider


  1. 3 oz Cachaca 51
  2. 4 dashes angostura bitters
  3. 1 oz lime juice
  4. ½ tablespoon of honey


Shake ans serve.


Boozy Blue


  1. 1 ½ oz of Cachaça 51
  2. 1 sliced small lime
  3. 1 teaspoon of sugar
  4. 1 dash of Blue Curacao
  5. Crushed ice

Preparation: Shake and serve.


Truly Americano


  1. 6 oz. Truly Spiked & Sparkling Colima Lime
  2. 1 oz. Campari
  3. 1 oz. Sweet Vermouth
  4. Fresh squeezed orange wedge


Combine Campari and Sweet Vermouth over ice; strain into rocks glass. Top with Truly Spiked & Sparkling Colima Lime and juice from fresh squeezed orange wedge. Garnish with an orange twist or peel.