When Blockbusters Break | The Worst Movies of Summer 2016
It was only a matter of time before audiences were going to be on the receiving end of a summer like 2016. This year was a non-stop cavalcade of expensive flops, high-profile disappointments and films that were merely adequate enough to entertain a little more than the competition. And while blockbusters have always been a “hit or miss” proposition for movie studios, rarely have so many non-starters come out in such a rapid succession, interspersed with – often – films that opened well and then proceeded to crap out after a single, solitary week.
This, dear readers, is what happens when you pander. When you replace ingenuity with franchising, and rely on audience familiarity instead of novelty, you tend to breed an environment of placidity amongst your audience. Or worse, you breed contempt. A new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie isn’t an event anymore, it’s just the latest in a long line of nostalgia cash-ins. A movie based on Warcraft isn’t giving audiences what they want, it’s just taking something audiences already like and putting it in a new medium. It’s just more stuff, not important stuff, not the sort of thing that puts butts in seats in a crowded marketplace that currently churns out blockbusters (and would-be blockbusters) all year round.
Some have argued that this has been the worst summer movie season in years. Heck, maybe it’s even worth throwing the word “ever” into the mix. For although there were quite a few genuinely good films this summer, there were so many genuinely bad ones that limiting ourselves to just ten was a chore in and of itself. But we tried, dear heaven we tried.
So let’s take a look at the worst of the worst, from the worst summer movie season on record. These are the worst movies of the hottest months of the hottest year in human history. They weren’t even worth their ticket price in air conditioning.