Rio Olympics: The First Reported Disaster Is In

In what is sure to be an unprecedented disaster of epic proportions, the upcoming Rio Olympics has officially brought in the first report of calamity that involves Olympics personnel. 

The Australian delegation went into the Olympic athletes’ village this weekend for their scheduled move-in, only to opt for a hotel instead due to issues with plumbing and fire safety.

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, the rooms in the village were “uninhabitable.”

“Problems include blocked toilets, leaking pipes, exposed wiring, darkened stairwells where no lighting has been installed and dirty floors in need of a massive clean.

We decided to do a “stress test” where taps and toilets were simultaneously turned on in apartments on several floors to see if the system could cope once the athletes are in-house.

The system failed. Water came down walls, there was a strong smell of gas in some apartments and there was “shorting” in the electrical wiring. ” 

Great Britain and New Zealand delegations reportedly had the same issues.

With less than two weeks from opening ceremonies, Rio (and the rest of the world) is hoping for a miracle following a series of giant red flags that have recently occurred in the Brazil city: Raw sewage, a dead body washing up on a beach, unfinished arenas, unpaid police holding up signs that say “welcome to hell” …

None of it has been addressed. But here’s what the mayor of Rio reportedly had to say about the Olympics village:

May God help everyone going to Brazil.

Josh Helmuth is the editor of Crave Sports.