Drown World Cup Sorrows with Kicking Cocktails

The USA’s journey through the World Cup is over. Depending on your sports opinions, that could be good or bad.

For American soccer lovers, it’s time to weep with sorrow that the quest ended before the quarterfinals — or with pride that the U.S. athletes managed to make it to the Knockout Round.

Related: Memorial Day Cocktails Honor the Fallen

For people like me, Belgium’s win is a welcome end to millions of Americans pretending to give a tin crap about a game they largely ignore for the four years between World Cups. We can stop pretending that if folks hate soccer, they’re just not Euro-sophisticated enough to appreciate “the beautiful game.” 

KETEL ONE ORANJE CAIPIROSKA

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz. Ketel One Oranje
  • 75 oz. fresh lime juice
  • .25 oz. simple syrup
  • 3 lime wedges
  • 2 orange slices
  • Lemon-lime soda

Preparation: Muddle two lime wedges and two orange slices in the bottom of a rocks glass.

Fill with ice and add remaining ingredients. Top with lemon-lime soda. Stir. Garnish with a lime wedge.

KETEL ONE TERREMOTO

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz. Ketel One Citroen
  • Pineapple Ice Cream
  • White Wine

Preparation: Add some pineapple ice cream to a one-liter glass Fill the remainder of the jug up with white wine.

  • 1.5 oz. Ketel One Oranje
  • .75 oz. fresh lemon juice
  • 1 oz. white crème de cacao

Preparation: Add all ingredients to a Collins glass. Fill the glass with crushed ice.

Use a swizzle stick to stir and blend ingredients. Garnish with an orange wedge.

KETEL ONE MEXICAN MULE

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz. Ketel One Vodka
  • .5 oz. orange liqueur
  • .5 oz. fresh lime juice
  • .5 oz. ginger liqueur
  • 3 oz. ginger beer
  • 5 cilantro leaves
  • 1 jalapeño slice (seedless)

Preparation: Muddle cilantro and jalapeño in the bottom of mixing glass. Add Ketel One Vodka, orange liqueur, ginger liqueur and lime juice and shake with ice.

Strain into a copper mug or highball glass filled with ice. Top with ginger beer. Garnish with cilantro leaves and a slice of jalapeño.

Now, drink responsibly. It’s time to turn back to sports in which actual excitement is possible, in which 90 minutes of scoreless action isn’t lauded as epic and in which men who hit the ground manage to get up without rolling around and crying about it for 20 minutes.

But, I digress.

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