Tennis stars Serena Williams and Caroline Wozniacki hit it up Miami this weekend, and I guess if I had to choose, I'd have to take Wozniacki because she's kinda more my speed. Not because Serena Williams is unattractive or anything, because she is that as well, but we're all looking at her ass, right? I would lose like, what, five inches off top trying to get past it? I just kinda wanna grab your hair and bend you over a counter, I don't need my penis to be Frodo at the end of The Return Of The King. With Wozniacki, I could probably hit cervix without having to go back to get fresh supplies. I guess what I'm saying here is that my penis is really small. What's good, ladies? Hit me up on Pintrest.