Everybody Relax About Robin Thicke And The Butt Grab Pic

Lana-Scolaro Robin Thicke


I've avoided this non-story for a while because chicks have been cutting their own bangs shorter in protest because Miley Cyrus has been crucified for being "the object in Thicke's sexy sex dream" but OMG ROBIN THICKE IS A MARRIED MAN WHO GRABBED A WOMAN'S ASS!!! WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE IS IT BECAUSE HE HAS A PENIS IT'S BECAUSE HE HAS A PENIS ISN'T IT?? The woman, of course, being, Lana Scolaro. And anytime there's a married man and another woman involved, the woman sells her story to a tabloid. Just another woman crushed under the boot heel of the patriachy while she counts her money. Page Six reports:

Robin Thicke did more than just grab blonde Lana Scolaro’s derrière as shown in a photo taken at 1Oak’s VMA party last week, the 20-year-old claims in the latest issue of Life & Style. Scolaro says she hooked up with the “Blurred Lines” singer, 36, while his wife, Paula Patton, was just a few feet away and that he approached using the line, “I just love the fact that you’re so young.” “His hands were everywhere,” Scolaro, who says she met Thicke at a party a week earlier, tells the magazine. She also claims Thicke told her Patton was “chill” and encouraged Lana to talk to her. Scolaro says she later accompanied the couple to a bash at a suite in the Greenwich Hotel, where Thicke followed her to the bathroom. She tells the mag, “He turned off the lights so no one could see us, and he started making out with me. He was grabbing me. He was like, ‘I want to get you into bed!’ ” But an insider tells us Thicke and Patton were together all night and that neither is concerned about the story.

Ok, I'm gonna to explain this whole thing for you. You ready? Paula Patton picked this chick out. Paula Patton instructed her husband to go talk to this chick. So you can chill now. Take a deep breath. Let it out. I have a friend who lives in NYC, and a few months ago, Thicke approached her in a bar and grabbed her ass and pretty much ran the same game then said, "Hey, I want you to introduce you to my girl, Paula." She looked at Paula, Paula looked back at her like, "you DTF or what I haven't got all night." So, in conclusion, they're a married couple who loves banging hot chicks together. Sometimes the chick is down, somethimes they're not. But that's what they do as a married couple. They should teach a damn class. Oh, and why is everyone saying Thicke's pickup line was creepy? It was better than what I would have said. "Hey girl, did you know your name backwards spells 'anal'? What are your thoughts on that?"


Pic source = Instagram (it's been deleted of course because you people)