Catherine Zeta-Jones Is Single

Since she's bi-polar and her vagina gave him mouth cancer, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones have to decided to take a break from their 13-year marriage. People reports:

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones haven't been photographed together since April 22. They've walked red carpets solo, vacationed separately with their kids, and in recent days, Douglas has been relaxing on a yacht off the coast of Sardinia – with Zeta-Jones at home in New York. So what's really going on with one of Hollywood's most celebrated couples? In this week's new cover story, two close confidantes tell PEOPLE that they've decided to take time apart: "They're taking a break," one source says. Neither star has filed for divorce or moved toward a legal separation, sources say.

"Taking a break", huh? I see. If a French billionaire reveals he has mouth cancer next year, we'll know what's up. We're on to you, Catherine!