Melissa Rivers Is Dating The Founder of Vivid

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No, I didn’t use a headline randomizer. Apparently this is actually happening. TMZ reports:

Joan Rivers’ only daughter Melissa has been meeting with the king of celebrity sex tapes Steven Hirsch … but it ain’t to star in a XXX flick, TMZ has learned the two are actually dating. Sources close to the couple tell us Melissa — who runs “Fashion Police” on E! — has been dating the Vivid Entertainment honcho for a couple of weeks … after meeting through mutual friends. One person with direct knowledge of the situation tells us, “The relationship is going great.”

Ok, so this is gonna sound way more conceited and self-masturbatory than it should, but I get a lot of emails from women asking me to judge their bodies even though I’m just some dude who writes a marginal celebrity gossip blog on my couch most of the time while I’m eating tacos. Why? Their logic being since I post tits all day I must be some kind of expert. I can’t really follow that logic, but I take it it’s the same logic that made Melissa Rivers date a dude who is in porn. She’s had so much plastic surgery her face looks like a Melissa Rivers Halloween mask and now she’s dating a dude who sees a sea of hot ass everyday. I guess in her mind that means she’s hot, too. Oh, and he’s rich. Let’s not forget rich. Wow. I rambled a little bit there didn’t I? Sorry. It’s not even 9am yet. It might be best if you kept your expectations low.