It’s physically impossible for Christina Aguilera not to be sexy. She could read me my last rites and I could still only manage just to masturbate.
Jennifer Lopez may have a fat ass, but why don’t I think her husband has any car insurance? Any why does she look like she wants to steal my dalmations?
As much as I hate to say it, this is the best Brooke Hogan has looked maybe ever. Without all the spackled on makeup that she usually wears, she looks pretty decent here. Especially since she has a dick.
Since she’s gotten out, the “Lil” part in “Lil Kim” is now clearly meant to be ironic, so I’m a little concerned about what she did in prison. Did they really let her wrap her pies in bacon? Either that, or she just took off a ninja mask filled with bees.
I have no idea why Maria Menounos is famous. I know she talks into a microphone and sometimes she does a shampoo commercial, but all you really need to know is that she has a great rack and looks like she’s maybe 5’2″ in heels. The word your looking for right now is “spinner”.
vma-2006
11 Memorable Movies About Memory
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11. D.A.R.Y.L. (dir. Simon Wincer, 1985)
Ten-year-old Daryl (Barret Oliver, The NeverEnding Story) can't remember a thing... except how to reprogram an ATM and fly an SR-71 Blackbird. Future Free Willy director Simon Wincer directs this family classic about a helpless little kid who also has a badass supercomputer for a brain.
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10. Trance (dir. Danny Boyle, 2013)
Oscar-winner Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire) takes a step back from the heavy stuff and directs the trippiest movie of the year, a hallucinogenic heist film about a thief who can't remember where he put a priceless painting. James McAvoy (Wanted) plays the poor boob, and Rosario Dawson (Sin City) plays the hypnotist hired by crime lords to coax the memory out of his brain, with entirely unexpected results.
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9. The Hangover (dir. Todd Phillips, 2009)
Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis have to piece together a lost weekend of catastrophic proportions when Justin Bartha, the "bachelor" in their Las Vegas bachelor's party, goes missing. Monkeys, tigers, Mike Tyson and a lost baby are all part of the overlong but hilarious mystery that turned The Hangover into an unexpected blockbuster success.
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8. The Bourne Identity (dir. Doug Liman, 2002)
The film that popularized "grim 'n gritty" realism in action blockbusters starred Matt Damon as a government hitman who loses his memory and turns on his own handlers. Director Doug Liman (Go) treats the absurd premise like it's serious drama and ends up with a movie that still feels impressively fresh over ten years later.
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7. Dark City (dir. Alex Proyas, 1998)
From the writer of Batman Begins came Dark City, a brooding sci-fi/fantasy about a mysterious metropolis where the inhabitants sometimes wake up with entirely new identities, bestowed upon them by ghostly masters called "The Strangers." Rufus Sewell (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) stars as the first person to reject his programming and begin unravelling the mystery in a film that's rapidly becoming a modern sci-fi classic.
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6. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)
Italian horror master Dario Argento (Suspiria) made his directorial debut with The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, a stylish and disturbing murder mystery about a writer (Tony Musante) who witnesses an attempted murder and spends the rest of the film stalked by the killer, and reliving the memory of the crime over and over, convinced he missed an important clue. If you catch it the first time you watch The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, you're smarter than we are.
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5. Memento (dir. Christopher Nolan, 2000)
Before he became the savior of all geekdom with his Dark Knight trilogy, Christopher Nolan broke into the industry with Memento, a crime thriller starring Guy Pearce (L.A. Confidential) as a man hunting for his wife's killer, and trying to overcome his anterograde amnesia, which prevents him from creating new memories. Nolan tells the story backwards, with each scene taking place before the last, so the audience always knows more than the hero and yet still feels equally lost.
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4. Total Recall (dir. Paul Verhoeven, 1990)
Based on Philip K. Dick's short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, Paul Verhoeven's 1990 sci-fi classic stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as a construction worker who buys memories of a vacation to Mars, only to discover that he's already been there, and had those memories erased. Total Recall is an ultraviolent power fantasy, a hilarious satire, a whipcrack conspiracy thriller, and may or may not all be a dream. Either way, it's better than Len Wiseman's 2012 remake.
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3. Spellbound (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1945)
Master of suspense Alfred Hitchcock frequently exploited the annals of the human mind for mysteries and thrills, and in Spellbound he hired the services of famed surrealist Salvador Dali to bring the subconscious to unforgettable life. Ingrid Bergman (Casablanca) stars as a psychiatrist who tries to protect her amnesiac patient, Gregory Peck (To Kill a Mockingbird), who can't remember if he's a murderer or not.
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2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (dir. Michel Gondry, 2004)
Lots of movies are about losing your memory. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is about giving it away. Jim Carrey stars as a man suffering a horribly emotional breakup, who pays to have the memories of his ex-girlfriend (Kate Winslet) erased by a medical professional. Music video guru Michel Gondry creates vivid images of the human subconscious being perpetually unmade, making an ultimately sad and incredible point about the way our past shapes who we are.
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1. Rashomon (dir. Akira Kurosawa, 1950)
One of the most ripped off movies ever made, Akira Kurosawa's Rashomon tells the story of a murder from the perspectives of everyone who was there, including the dead guy, via a transmedium. All their stories are different, and it's up to the judge (and the audience) to decide for themselves which story - or part of each story - is actually the truth.
Sound familiar? Maybe you remember this as an episode of "Batman: The Animated Series," or "Star Trek: The Next Generation," or multiple episodes of "The X-Files." But Akira Kurosawa did it first, and Akira Kurosawa did it best.
Sasquatch 2013: The XX
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: The XX
May 25, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Sasquatch 2013: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
May 26, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
