It’s easy to write off conspiracy theorists as crazy, because, well, most of them are pretty nuts. However, there are times when a theory is just crazy enough that it might actually be believable. A thread on Reddit asked users to post their wildest conspiracy theories. Here are some of the best ones and some of them are almost believable.
1. Bush’s Baked Beans
The secret recipe for Bush’s Baked Beans is actually golden retriever meat. That’s why the dog wants to reveal the recipe, but that guy in the polo always stops him.
2. Starbucks
Starbucks spells people’s names wrong on purpose so they share it on social media thus creating free advertising.
3. College
College is a scam.
It’s a way to keep young people off the unemployment rolls and create the illusion the job marketplace is more robust than it actually is. The vast majority of what you learn is theoretical information you won’t even use on the job, but that degree is required because the hiring manager had to suffer through 4 to 8 years of higher education and expects all those beneath him to do so as well.
4. Westboro Baptist Church
The Westboro Baptist Church is actually a really progressive civil rights organization (supporting LGBT rights, religious tolerance and other liberal causes).
Fred Phelps was a prolific Civil Rights attorney before he started the Westboro Baptist Church and took a bunch of heat for his work. So, what if one day Fred realized that he’d never going to get his community to come together and support his work? Instead, he decided the best way to unite people was through hatred of him.
5. Fingerprints
Fingerprints are given to us at birth to act as a human barcode.
6. John McCain
John McCain picked Sarah Palin on purpose because he saw the downfall of the Republican party and wanted to speed it along by propelling her and the Tea Party to the front. He wants this because he’s a smart guy and realizes that the country will benefit if we have functional parties, instead of a divided nation.
7. Seasoning
Every product in the seasoning aisle is made by a single company, and most of them contain the same ingredients. This is done so that those wanting a cheaper product buy it, and so do those who are more discerning.
8. Education Systems
Our educational system has been systematically disassembled, watered down and sabotaged because the government doesn’t want an educated population. Educated people are harder to manage.
9. Cosmopolitan Magazine
The readership of Cosmo is single women, right? So Cosmo intentionally gives awful dating advice to keep their readership single and buying Cosmo.
10. “The Prestige”
How does Christian Bale transform his body from extremely skinny to superhero buff and then back to skinny in just months? It’s not diet and exercise.
He has an emaciated twin brother he keeps hidden away who fills in for roles requiring a skinny Christian Bale. They each share one life.
Christopher Nolan tried to hint at this in the documentary “The Prestige.”
11. Stephen Hawking
Stephen Hawking has actually been a brain-dead for years, ever since he lost his ability to speak. In reality, a team of discredited scientists use him as a mouthpiece for hypotheses that are too controversial to be presented by less renowned scientists.
12. The Ultimate Conspiracy
Perhaps 95% of conspiracy theorists are professional trolls paid by the U.S. government to muddy the waters and throw the general public off about what the real conspiracies are.
13. Video Games
The government is secretly pushing game developers to make war shooters like “Call of Duty” and “Battlefield” and market them to kids, so that in several years time when we piss off every other nation in the world, those children who grew up on war games will have a skewed idea of war, think it’ll be awesome, and sign up. That way they can keep it a “volunteer” army but brainwash impressionable minds into signing up without knowing the REAL horrors of war.
14. Instagram
Selfies were made popular by the government to help build a facial recognition database.
15. American Ninja Warrior
“American Ninja Warrior” is a selection process for the new world. All of us fatties at home watching will be left to burn.
16. Taiwan
China does not want Taiwan. They claim they do and start making threats every few years so the Taiwanese freak out and buy super-expensive military hardware from the U.S. The U.S., in turn, shares some of the profits of those sales with China. Repeat every 5 to 6 years.
17. Hot Dogs
Hot dogs are sold in packs of ten while their buns are sold in packs of eight. You have to buy 4 packs of hot dogs to 5 packs of buns to have enough. I suspect that Big BBQ has control of the packaging for these to specifically entice you into buying more.
18. The NSA
Whenever you get “lag” or slow Internet, the NSA had to censor some of the information that is being received into your computer.
