Hey, remember the other day when Nicki Minaj acted like she Sandra Bland because “Anaconda” didn’t get a Video Of The Year nomination at the MTV VMAs then Taylor Swift thought it was about her then got smacked down by think pieces who failed to mention that “Anaconda” sounded like a Fischer-Price My First Song? That was fun. Then, well, the whole Katy Perry response that read like she typed it with her feet. But have no fear, Ed Sheeran is here. A dude who would swim in nuclear waste if it he thought it would give him super powers to break out of the friend zone Taylor has him in so he could sniff her high-waisted floral panties. Instead of nuclear waste, he said some words to Australia’s The Daily Telegraph.
“I think everyone knows that Taylor has done nothing wrong in that situation. She didn’t nominate herself for the awards. It’s not her fault, she just made some good videos and people think they’re good. And I think the Minaj point is a bit redundant, her point is that you have to be skinny and white to get a video of the year nomination but Beyonce’s 7/11 is in there and that is celebrating the female figure in every form.”
Wait, did that sound like Ed shrugged and said, “well, they already have a black lady in there so I don’t see the problem”? It did, right? Ok, good. Because he tweeted Buzzfeed this whilst jerking it to “Bad Blood”.
“That’s taken out of context and not what I was saying was redundant at all. I was making a point about body image and not race, whilst sticking up for a mate, I definitely said it wrong though, apologies.
Taylor, look. Just let Ed lick it one time. That’s all the boy wants. Just let him taste it. You can still post on Tumblr and order custom stationary while he’s down there. Jump on Netflix. He’ll be done before you get to “Created by Dick Wolf”.
Ed Sheeran Friend Zone
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Friend Zone
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 17: Recording artists Taylor Swift (L) and Ed Sheeran pose during the 2015 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 17, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/BMA2015/WireImage)
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Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Taylor Swift,Ed SheeranWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Taylor Swift,Ed Sheeran
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Taylor Swift,Ed SheeranWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Taylor Swift,Ed Sheeran
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Taylor Swift,Ed SheeranWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Taylor Swift,Ed Sheeran
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Ed SheeranWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Ed Sheeran
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Ed SheeranWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Ed Sheeran
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Taylor SwiftWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Taylor Swift
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Taylor SwiftWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Taylor Swift
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Taylor SwiftWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Taylor Swift
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Taylor SwiftWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Taylor Swift
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com -
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the waterFeaturing: Taylor SwiftWhere: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United KingdomWhen: 28 Jul 2013Credit: WENN.com
Taylor Swift and her musician pal Ed Sheeran go paddleboarding with their families near Taylor's home on Rhode Island. Taylor wore a two-piece striped bathing suit while Ed opted to keep his T-shirt, on while out on the water
Featuring: Taylor Swift
Where: Watch Hill, Rhode Island, United Kingdom
When: 28 Jul 2013
Credit: WENN.com
