Natalie Portman Keeps Her Oscar In A Safe Because Of Religion

OSCAR IS A FALSE PROPHET! YOU SHALL WORSHIP NO OTHER GODS EXCEPT ME BECAUSE I’M SUPER INSECURE AND NEED CONSTANT PRAISE AND VALIDATION!

Guests in Natalie Portman’s Paris home should not expect to see her Oscar statue perched atop the mantle. “I don’t know where it is,” Portman told The Hollywood Reporter when asked about where she keeps the Best Actress Oscar she won in 2010 for her role in “Black Swan.” “I think it’s in the safe or something. I don’t know. I haven’t seen it in a while. I mean, [‘Black Swan’ director] Darren [Aronofsky] actually said to me something when we were in that whole thing that resonated so deeply. I was reading the story of Abraham to my child and talking about, like, not worshipping false idols. And this is literally like gold men. This is literally worshipping gold idols — if you worship it. That’s why it’s not displayed on the wall. It’s a false idol.”

That story must have really resonated, because it’s weird to see a Jew not display gold in they’re home. But to recap, she took a role that she hoped would get her an Oscar nomination, campaigned for the Oscar, attended the Oscars, accepted the Oscar, but doesn’t display it in her house because that would be a sin or something. I guess it makes sense when you don’t really think about it. Like when Noah repopulated the Earth by banging his daughters. k.

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