Lana Del Rey Is Playing Two Shows At A Cemetery

 

Lana Del Rey always looks like she’s mid-roofie and her music sounds like Heroin: The Musical. Also, she could get it. Also again, she’s playing two gigs at Hollywood Forever Cemetery in October. Some people are mad about it.

Lana Del Rey’s latest album Ultraviolence has been accused of being gloomy, doomy and outright dark. Now she’s out to prove her critics right by announcing a pair of concerts at a cemetery. The American artist will play two special shows at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery on Oct. 17 and 18 in support of her latest Polydor/Interscope album. Del Rey’s choice of venue will surely raise eyebrows, though she’s certainly done her homework.

You know whose eyebrows won’t be raised? All the dead people buried in the cemetery. Because dead people can’t really raise anything because they’re dead. If they could raise stuff they wouldn’t be buried there, so I don’t think they’ll care too much about Lana performing a concert on top of them. They don’t care about anything, because I just pointed out, they’re dead and when your dead your brain doesn’t work. It’s kinda just chillin in your skull until worms or whatever find a way to get to it, then it’s Aaron’s Party up in your head except instead of people the party is with worms and stuff like that (come get it). And let’s just say there’s one dead person who isn’t really dead and they’re awake in the casket. It’ s still cool, because Lana will put him back to sleep by say, like, the third song.

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