Kim Kardashian Is Delusional, Dumb

In the April issue of Self Magazine, Kim Kardashian is still adamantly denying rumors that she’s had plastic surgery. Mostly because she thinks everyone on Earth doesn’t have eyes? Who knows. People reports:

“Rumors don’t bother me anymore,” Kardashian, 30, told Self magazine while shooting their April cover. “I’ve read that I’ve had my lips done. I’ve always had big lips. Look at my baby pictures. It’s ridiculous … You can’t worry about all the gossip.” But it’s not just Kardashian’s lips that reports claim she’s had altered. “They’ll show one picture of me today and one tomorrow, and say I’ve had my nose done in between,” she says. “When? Didn’t you just see me yesterday? And how many times have I ‘had my butt done?’ People’s logic is so weird. I don’t know why they bother!”

Later in the interview, they asked her what she would do if she wasn’t famous. I…I’ll just let you read it.

But if Kardashian lived in a world where celebrity magazine covers were irrelevant, she’d want it to be of the CSI nature. “I would either be a crime scene investigator or a makeup artist,” she says. “Or both. Maybe I should do makeup for the people on the crime scene [who] are dead.” But in the simpler scheme of things, Kardashian says she’d even be happy working as a cleaning lady. “I’m the biggest neat freak at home,” she admits. “I don’t have people over for the reason [that] I don’t like anyone in my space. I think I was a housekeeper in my last life. Sitting at home in sweats and cleaning out my closet would be a perfect night for me.”

I know that the world is filled with functioning retards who somehow make it through the day without walking off a cliff or talking to a mailbox, but it’s obvious that Kim Kardashian is an empty shell of Restylane and stupidity with no concept of reality or self-awareness. She’s so obsessed with her own beauty that in a another life she wants to give corpses makeovers then organize their closets. She took a load of Ray J in her mouth then leaked the sex tape herself to be famous, now she’s tired of what comes with that and just wants a normal life where she helps the recently deceased find themselves on the color wheel? Please. If she went five minutes without a camera pointed at her she’d take a hostage and set herself on fire.


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