Natalie Portman Also Realized She’s Almost 30

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Natalie Portman and some dude in tights she met on Black Swan are engaged. He also knocked her up. I realize I should have posted this yesterday, but I was kinda hoping CNN would have video of the Jonestown filled with dudes wearing Star Trek uniforms and lightsaber keychains when I woke up this morning. Oh well. People reports:

Natalie Portman and choreographer Benjamin Millepied are engaged and expecting their first child, her reps confirm to PEOPLE exclusively. The couple met during the production of Black Swan. Portman’s performance in the film has earned her nominations for a Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award.

Now that all the WoW servers have rebooted for their moment of silence over this tragic news, can we just agree that Natalie Portman looks like Fievel with slightly bigger tits? Seriously, what’s the big deal about this chick? Her forehead? I’ve never seen anybody commit seppuku with a broken Yeungling bottle or the corner of their liberal arts degree before, but you might want to go check on that friend you have with the Prius and the unpaid internship. No, not him. The other one. The one that dates the Asian chick with bangs who works at the recycling center. Yeah. That one. He’s probably broken up over this.


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