Lindsay Is Learning A Lot In Rehab

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Lindsay Lohan hasn’t managed to escape Betty Ford yet, so she has a lot of time to think about how she’s pissed away every opportunity she’s ever had on drugs, dick, and Voda and Red Bulls. Has she learned that she’s responsible for her actions and that she’s truly the one to blame for being a 24-year old coke whore with two DUIs and five stints in rehab? Of course not. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan is doing a lot of thinking at Betty Ford, and she’s already reached one big conclusion — she’s in the mess she’s in largely because of daddy Michael Lohan. Some of Lindsay’s friends and relatives tell us … LiLo is spending a lot of time talking to counselors about the path that led her to drug and alcohol addiction. And she’s convinced the nightmare of growing up in such a dysfunctional family has taken its toll. Lindsay repeatedly talks about allegations Dina made in her divorce papers … that Michael abused her. Lindsay says she witnessed it firsthand, and it’s still tough to deal with. In particular, Lindsay claims she had to step in and protect her mother from Michael. Michael has denied allegations of physical abuse. Our sources say Lindsay talks a lot about growing up with a dad who was periodically behind bars. Add to that — she moved out to L.A. at a very young age, with almost no parental supervision. And, Lindsay believes, the tabloid scrutiny of her life has taken its toll.

Man, what would make a person so paranoid and delusional that they concoct widely unbelievable stories and a web of lies to justify their actions? Oh, yeah. That’s right.

Hollywood wild child Lindsay Lohan is being treated for cocaine addiction at the Betty Ford Clinic, has exclusively learned. “Lindsay’s primary problem is cocaine,” said a source, close to the situation. “She went through a thorough assessment, and it was discovered that she has a high dependence for cocaine.”

I don’t know, I get the feeling that this time will be different. I just know that Lindsay will emerge from rehab stronger and better, ready to take the world head on because she feels invincible. Invincible enough that she’ll take a speedball or jump off a roof because she’s high as shit and thinks she just grew wings so I never have to write about this cunt again. The end.


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