You Don’t Say

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Jennifer Aniston is a bottomless pit of need and insecurity who is destined to die alone with only her cat watching and helpless to stop her choking on her watercrest salad, but strangely, people seem to still be baffled as to why she’s alone. Us Magazine says:

She’s been rejected by Brad Pitt, Vince Vaughn, John Mayer and, most recently, Cougar Town star Josh Hopkins. And apparently most men and women don’t understand why. The currently-unattached actress, 41, was voted the most eligible single woman in the world, according to a 60 MINUTES/Vanity Fair poll released Monday…Despite being so unlucky in love, Aniston has said she doesn’t want people to pity her. “This whole ‘Poor lonely Jen’ thing, this idea that I’m so unlucky in love?” she once told Vogue. “I actually feel I’ve been unbelievably lucky in love…I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

It must be nice to live in a land of delusion and make believe where being a 41-year old woman living in a gingerbread house and killing children is considered lucky. What? Jennifer Aniston hasn’t killed any children? How do you know? Somebody should look into that.

: What, you mean to tell me it’s watercress and not watercrest?! How will I ever continue to get paid to write a popular celebrity gossip blog?! (here’s a hint: no one cares)


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