Apparently a quarter ounce and a smoker’s cough are good accessories, because Kristen Stewart showed up at the New Moon premiere last night looking completely average and ordinary. Notice I didn’t say “normal” because normal means “fat” now”, but would it kill her to look like a girl every now and then? Christ, Taylor Lautner is prettier than this chick. Instead of having the lead role in a tale of danger, lust, and adventure, she should be writing on an overhead projector telling 3rd graders about the Dewey Decimal system and the Judy Blume books at the book fair.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
