These Inanimate Links Are Smarter Than Rihanna

“I mean, damn, her eye’s black and the sides of her face are all f—-d up,” the friend told Us. “But she keeps saying she still loves him.” [UltimateRihanna]

These Paris Hilton upskirt shots make me see the female sex organs in a whole different way. A gross way. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Michael Phelps is doing what any man would do when facing a national pot scandal: hide out in strip clubs. [SocialiteLife]

Angelina Jolie looks like a hard ass these days. It makes me miss the old, crazy Angelina Jolie who had the taste of a truck stop slut and decided to have crazy sex with Billy Bob Thronton. [LaineyGossip]

Usher’s wife survived the heart attack she had while having a liposuction procedure she probably had because of people like me. That makes me feel better. [I’mNotObsessed]

On that note, ever wonder what Oprah would look like if she wasn’t fat? [CityRag]

Lindsay Lohan is a bitch these days and it’s hard to come up with new ways to say that, but she’s wearing a see-through shirt, so I’m a little distracted from hating on her. Site NSFW [DrunkenStepfather]

Lucy Liu looks to have started to see the after effects of that GHB I slipped her [HollywoodRag]