I was too busy watching the House marathon on USA to notice, but according to all the calls and emails I got yesterday, I missed Barack Obama being sworn in as our 44th President. Apparently that was some kind of historic event. Not sure why exactly because I’m pretty sure Obama didn’t cross the Alps on elephants and I’m almost positive that CNN would have mentioned if he fed the crowd with two fish and five loaves of bread. Since they didn’t, I really didn’t see the need to watch another rich, Ivy league educated lawyer raised by white people turned power hungry, cutthroat politician tell me how he’s just like me through words that other rich, Ivy league educated white people wrote. Sorry, dude. I realize I’m not supposed to notice because you and Martin Luther King, Jr. kinda look alike, but the guy who cuts my grass kinda looks like me too. That doesn’t mean it’s my lifelong dream to see him elected President.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
