Britney Spears Has Video Diaries

Britney Spears has reportedly kept a video diary chronicling all her problems for the last six months. She is now threatening to release them online or on MTV.

As well as rants about her mom, dad, sister Jamie Lynn, and friends, the singer, 26, reveals intimate information about her ex, Justin Timberlake, and her rivalry with Christina Aguilera. “Britney’s video diaries are the talk of the Tinseltown elite,” a source said. “Her high-profile friends and exes – including Justin – knew what she was up to but assumed she was filming herself as a form of therapy. If she does decide to go public with the footage, it’ll be explosive. “Although some of it is really sad to watch – especially the parts where she’s close to breakdown – others are dynamite. Not surprisingly both JT and Kevin Federline are terrified the material will end up all over the net. “Or, even worse, Britney will agree to another MTV documentary, and release some of the footage through official channels.”

The Tinseltown elite doesn’t care about a bloated unfit mother with multiple personalities, and Britney Spears has no friends, so this source sounds way more optimistic than he should be. Britney’s an idiot, there’s no possible way anything she says could be remotely lucid or interesting. Besides, Britney doesn’t even know how to work a child’s car seat. Good luck with her figuring out a technological marvel like the video camera. It’ll probably be just hours of her rambling to the lens cap about her dog’s dreams or how she thinks the McRib would taste better with a gooey chocolate center.

Britney and her babysitters leaving a recording studio yesterday:


Of course nothing will be better than this (thanks Sarah!):


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