Britney Spears Has Multiple Personalities

THIS JUST IN: Britney Spears is really, really crazy. TMZ says:

We’re told the whole British accent thing — well, it’s more than an accent. Britney has multiple personalities, including, as people in her life call it, “the British girl.” We’re told when Spears loses the British personality, she has absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that personality. Sources say Brit has a number of other identities, where she becomes “the weepy girl, the diva, the incoherent girl,” and on and on. Sources say Britney had become the British girl the day she didn’t show for her deposition and has no recollection of it.”

Her British accent doesn’t even sound like a British accent, but whatever. Britney just needs to step her schizophrenia game up and try something less boring. Maybe something like “Old Prospector girl.” Then when Britney gets stressed she could walk around L.A. with a lantern and a pickaxe, panning for gold on the curb outside Starbucks. Why didn’t you show up for court Britney? “Somebody tried to steal my dadburned gold!!”

Check out “the British girl” starting at 1:30:


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