Britney Spears is Writing a Book

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Despite warnings from her family that it will damage her career even further, Britney Spears is going ahead with her plans to write a $10 million tell all book. The book, which is said to be at the urging of the female therapist Britney has been seeing since rehab, will attack every significant person in her life.

Justin Timberlake:

“Brit blames most of her problems with drugs and alcohol of the heartache she experienced years before, during her time with Justin; she couldn’t trust him…She also felt he became mean towards the end of their relationship; she said he called her fat and told her she’d need to lose weight before he would have sex with her.”

Lynn Spears:

“Britney will call her a ‘stage mum from hell’ and blame her for almost every ill in her life. She’ll say Lynne’s money hungry and that she was just along for the free ride…Britney thinks of her as a meddling, smothering person and blames her for her messy marriages.”

Kevin Federline:

“…Brit will say he deliberately tried to drive her crazy. She feels Kevin just pretended to love her for the money and a music career. When that sunk in, she was so heartbroken that she wanted to kill herself.”

Yikes, Britney’s had a pretty rough life. I’m surprised she hasn’t killed herself yet. No seriously, I am. I sent detailed instructions on how to tie the noose, what more do I have to do?

I guess Britney is technically with her kids in these pictures from yesterday because she’s in the frame, but notice how she can’t be bothered to hold them. You could put Britney in a lineup with Flicka, Kobe Bryant, a can opener and point one of those big neon arrows at Britney, and Jayden James couldn’t tell you which one was his mother.