Man Who “Lied To His Partner” Hits Rock Bottom, Passers By Stoop Lower

Stop the planet, we want to get off. A video has just surfaced online documenting what is a decidedly brow-furrowing state of affairs in the seedy backstreets of Newtown, Sydney.

Shot by a Sneaky reporter out for a stealthy spot of investigation-ing, the film depicts a man draped in garbage bags, with a milk crate for a hat, standing sheepishly next to a graffiti wall. Those familiar with the subcultural circle-jerk that is Newtown would be forgiven for mistaking this scene as the latest hipster fashion trend or perhaps some kind of avant-garde visual art piece. Not so.

The man also happens to be standing by a sign which reads:  “I LIED TO MY PARTNER, I BROKE COMMITMENTS, I AM A HYPOCRITE!!  IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN HURT BY A MAN…. PLEASE HUMILIATE & ABUSE ME.” The videographer asks, “What did you do?” and the man replies, “It was terrible… This is legitimate. This is not a statement. This is not art.”

Now, if old mate letting his own sense of self-loathing transform him into a man-hater’s birthday piñata is enough to make you weep for all humanity, then best ready another box of Kleenex, friend, because what happens next will make you go full A&E Intervention.

A group of seven girls, whom some critics might dub the human equivalent of that white gooey stuff that accumulates on the side of your mouth sometimes, then proceed to egg him on. And what we mean by that is they actually throw eggs at him, and hit him, and psychologically abuse him, laughing merrily all the while.

Regardless of whether you’re a man, woman or someone in between, it’s hard to argue that this whole situation isn’t just a little bit F’d in the A.

All parties involved could probably benefit from a healthy dose of funny cute baby animal videos. Or, you know, serious mental health counselling. 

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