Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: You’re on a date. It’s your first or second one with her, and you’re still in that “getting to know you” stage. Everything seems to be going well, you’re dropping your best stories, she’s laughing… and then it happens. She plows right into Small Talk Mode.
“So, where are you from?” “Did you like it?” “Any brothers or sisters?” “What do you do for a living?” “Do you like it?” (I mean, jeez, I almost nodded off while typing that.)
After 2 or 3 of those bad boys are launched at you, everything starts skidding sideways right into a giant pile of boredom.
You can steer away from broadsiding that disaster, and it’s easier than you think. It doesn’t mean simply changing the subject or avoiding answering her questions either. That’s the worst thing you can do, and here’s why:
The reason most women steer the conversation into small talk is because they want to get to know us better… and that’s a really good sign. It means her interest is growing, and she wants to know more about you. So if you try to change the subject, you not only come off as evasive, but she gets the signal that you’re not as interested in her.
We see small talk questioning as an interrogation and invasion, while she sees it as a way to connect more deeply. So let her, but on your terms, and without killing the fun and excitement.
What’s the best way to stop small talk from becoming boring and killing your date? Lie. Lie your ass off.
But there’s an art to lying during small talk. Do it the right way, and do it well, and you’ll be rewarded with a great night, and many more great nights to come. Fail, and you’ll be lucky to get a goodnight handshake.
Here’s the right way to lie: Be totally fun and flirty in your answers, not obnoxious, boring or condescending. Your lies should be interesting, entertaining, lead to more interesting conversation, and should allow you to turn the conversation sexy, letting her know you’re attracted to her—while avoiding the insidious Friend Zone.
An example: When she asks where you’re from, instead of just saying you grew up outside of Chicago—which is not an exciting or unique answer and, unless she’s been there, is a conversational dead end—you can, say “I grew up just outside of Chicago, but in a parallel universe to yours. Everything is pretty much the same as it is here, except in my universe Mike Ditka was elected President for Life, deep dish pizza is the only type of pizza there is, and Elvis really is dead.”
Sound crazy? Try it. I promise if you’re clever and deliver it with sincerity and a hint of mischievous humor, she’ll have fun with it and join in. It’ll keep things from screeching to a halt, show her you’re fun and unpredictable, and keep you out of the Friend Zone.
Why does a lie like this work? There are 5 reasons, and in part 2 of this article, we’ll explain them all.