Trolling #24: Back to the Future SUCKS!

Tell me, doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the 50’s, or 1999? All I wanted to do was play my guitar and sing. Thank you, Huey, for teaching us to love time travel. Again.

Back to the Future. It was the biggest ht of 1985, grossing over $210 million to date. It is also beloved by an entire generation, having earned an implacable and untouchable place in the pop culture firmament. Like a few other pop flicks from the 1980s (Ghostbusters, etc.), Back to the Future has become something of a cultural milestone; a guidepost for millions to guide their ships by. This is a film so well-loved that we just sort of accept its greatness. It’s a film people saw as kids, and carried deal to their hearts into adulthood.

It was also critically lauded. Roger Ebert invoked the sacred name of Frank Capra while describing it, and most critics tend to agree that Back to the Future was a lighthearted and clever fantasy/comedy that evoked joy and wonder. Even when going back to revisit it, most critics praise it; it has a 96% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

But, my soon-to-be-irritated friends, this is Trolling, CraveOnline‘s weekly film series dedicated entirely to pissing you off. And here at Trolling, it’s our job to put our greasy mitts all over the untouchable. And, after looking at Back to the Future, we can easily come to the following conclusion: Back to the Future SUCKS. Seriously, this flick is a mess, and not just because of all the dunderhead chronology. Read on and prepare to seethe, my lovelies, because we like to dissect living things and make ’em dead.  

 

Back to the Future is a delightful comedic fantasy, and it’s a fun one to haul out time and again. It was one of those Hollywood mega-hits that people actually remember and seem to enjoy. But, through all the delightful humor and the clever-sounding ideas is a messy, dumb, and sloppy film with a boring, boring hero who almost sleeps with his own teenage mother.

Until next week, let the hate mail flow.  


Witney Seibold is the head film critic for Nerdist, and a contributor on the CraveOnline Film Channel, and co-host of The B-Movies Podcast. You can read his weekly articles Trolling, Free Film School and The Series Project, and follow him on “Twitter” at @WitneySeibold, where he is slowly losing his mind. 

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