The 15 Worst Films of 2013 – A Second Opinion

The Lone Ranger

To coin an adage: Great films are universal, but bad films you endure alone.

Scouring the bottom is never a fun task. Not only did we have to watch a series of horrible movies, but now, at the end of the year, we critics have to recall, reminisce, and relive the pain of some of our most unpleasant movie experiences. And even though 2013 was a strong year for some great films (it was one of those years that had easily more amazing movies than a mere top ten list ordinarily demands), it didn't make enduring some of these turkeys any less difficult.

All of these films are just awful. Some of them were assaults on the senses. Some of them were outright offensive. Some of them tromped all over beloved literature, and some were perhaps a bit too enthused about their real-life biopic subjects. Every one of them was a chore. Don't let it ever be said that film critics have a cushy job. Just look at some of the entries below, and then ponder that we critics were required to see these movies. You, as an audience member, have a choice. You can read our reviews and then decide to see a film accordingly. We, however, are the martyrs who suffer through these bombs so you don't have to.

True, some of the potentially worst films of the year did slide past me. Dario Argento's Dracula 3-D escaped my attention (and yours), and I steered clear of The Smurfs 2. But consider this: I saw Battle of the Year 3-D, After Earth, Turbo, Movie 43, The Hangover Part III, The Host, Baggage Claim, Bad Grandpa, The Canyons, Machete Kills, A Haunted House, and R.I.P.D., and none of them made it into the bottom. Although any of those films may be considered to be in the “runner-up” category. There will be some recognizable blockbusters on here. Maybe some obscurities. But all will be painful.  

Read William Bibbiani's picks for The Worst Films of 2013.

Read Fred Topel's picks for The Worst Films of 2013.

Witney Seibold is a featured contributor on the CraveOnline Film Channel, and co-host of The B-Movies Podcast. You can read his weekly articles Trolling, Free Film School and The Series Project, and follow him on “Twitter” at @WitneySeibold, where he is slowly losing his mind.