You’re probably aware of “50 Shades of Grey,” the bizarre, erotic romance novel that your mom probably read after rejecting your dad’s sexual advances (sorry about the mental image). But you’re probably not aware of the hilarious parody Twitter account 50 Nerds of Grey. Take a look below at some of their funniest tweets:
‘Come over,’ she begged. ‘I need you right now!’
‘Just turn it off and on again,’ he sighed.
He hated these late night rebooty calls.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 21, 2016
‘I can’t take any more!’ she cried, exhausted after three hours bent over the desk.
It was no good, she just couldn’t remember her password.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 16, 2016
‘Yes!’ he screamed, rigid with pleasure ‘Oh yes, that’s it . . it’s coming . . YES!!’
He couldn’t believe there was a new Harry Potter book— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 10, 2016
If she didn’t respond to his needs, he knew the three places to touch that worked every time . . .
Control, alt and delete.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 9, 2016
‘Would you like a happy ending?’ she asked, rubbing the hot oil deep into his skin.
‘Oh yes!’ he replied.
‘OK,’ she said. ‘Han Solo lives.’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 7, 2016
He was very careful during bondage sessions.
He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 5, 2016
‘I’ve been a very bad girl,’ she said, biting her lip. ‘I need to be punished.’
‘Very well,’ he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 7, 2015
‘So, what’s your favourite position?’ she asked.
‘Easy,’ he said, ‘The middle seat of the sofa, exactly 1.5 metres from the TV and the PS4.’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 3, 2016
‘Fancy some role play?’ she asked in her nurse’s uniform.
‘OK’ he said. ‘You see a three-headed dragon. Do you run or use your magic sword?’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 3, 2016
He tied the collar round her neck.
‘I am your master and you are my slave.’
She calmly walked away.
He was going to have to get another cat.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) January 29, 2016
Her finger stroked wildly until finally she screamed and fell back exhausted and flushed.
‘At last!’ she sighed, ‘Level 500 on Candy Crush!’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) January 23, 2016
She was powerless to resist his advances.
He’d disabled her firewall.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) January 13, 2016
‘I’m all yours!’ she cried. ‘You can do things with me you’d never dare do with any other woman!’
‘Alright’ he said, and made eye contact.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) January 19, 2016
‘So,’ he asked coolly, ‘Are you ready to play?’
‘Play what?’ she teased, eyeing the erect wood between his legs.
‘Quidditch!’ he exclaimed.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) December 27, 2015
Nothing erotic here, folks: The Best Tweets On Crap Taxidermy
