20 Horribly Inappropriate Ways To Pose Your Child’s Elf on the Shelf

The trick of telling kids to behave because Santa is watching just doesn’t work anymore. Now we need to bring in a spy to keep tabs on what they’re doing at all times. His name is the Elf on the Shelf and it’s gone from a cute Christmas idea for children to a way for adults to entertain themselves by posing the elf in some of the most deranged and inappropriate ways imaginable. Pinterest and Facebook have some creative ideas, but these are the most inappropriate ones we could find from parents with some interesting methods, to say the least.

20 Horribly Inappropriate Ways To Pose Your Child’s Elf on the Shelf

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf shaves head
This may be the first time an Elf on the Shelf photo has been used in a divorce hearing.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf with redrum
What a great way to celebrate the holidays by permanently traumatizing your children. Happy holidays!

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf lighting farts
You don’t want to be in the way when that goes off. Trust me, elf.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf with glory hole
I guess the only positive aspect is at least it was a candy cane.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf snorting cocaine
Those marshmallows are going to be a nightmare if he accidentally snorts one of them.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf pooping on cookie
At least he’s not letting their parents serve sugar cookies. That’s much worse than the elf picture.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf with tampons
I’m fairly certain those aren’t actually nunchucks. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf smelling underwear
Good luck explaining that one to your kids.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, dog licking elf's butt
From the picture it appears that Chicago 2012 was a trip that needs quite a bit of explaining.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf writing on baby's head
Is this the line that shouldn’t have been crossed? It has to be, right?

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf with barbie stripper
He’s not going to be there long if the only thing he brought was a single dollar.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf killing with knife
This was still better than the last season of “Dexter.”

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf being waterboarded
Who says you can’t incorporate your political agenda into your kid’s holiday celebrations?

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf being arrested over car
I bet he wasn’t wearing his seat belt either. What a complete monster.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf as a pervert
I take back my earlier statement; this is the line that you definitely shouldn’t cross.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf partying with dolls in sink
He’s selling videos of this for $29.99 on his website right now.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf dick in a box
Your kids will never want to open another present for the rest of their lives.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf with beer can reindeer
This is so inaccurate. The Rudolph beer doesn’t even have a red nose.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf peeing into cup
I thought this champagne tasted a little flat. That clears things up.

20 Horribly Inappropriately Ways To Pose Your Child's Elf on the Shelf, elf and chucky and snowman
Merry Christmas, kids! The Elf and Chucky murdered your snowman!