The Top Ten Porn Parodies We Want to See

The best porn parodies has experienced an enormous resurgence in recent years, bringing to the oft-panned and controversial genre an air of legitimacy, even as it dorkily lampoons Star Trek and The Justice League. The industry was suffering from the prevalence of free content online, much of it pirated, and thanks in part to the surprise success of Not the Brady Bunch, porn found a new niche that returned it to the edge, at least, of the mainstream. Relatively expensive satires of pop culture phenomena, taken half-seriously – the characters can have the same names as their original counterparts, thanks to the clear “parody” demarcation on the DVD covers – and fun enough to play at parties thanks to the “Sex Free” versions often included on the DVDs and Blu-rays. Even Tomb Raider is getting in on the action, so to speak.

We’re off at the Adult Entertainment Expo right now, so to place you in our frame of mind we’ve put together this list of the Best Porn Parodies We Want to See. Given the quick turnaround times on pornographic movies, it’s actually pretty amazing to learn what hasn’t been given the big budget parody treatment yet. Many of our selections have been satirized before, with less love and care than the current crop of porno parodies usually offer, and we’ll try to mention those versions when we can (or at least when the titles are SFW). We’re also leaving out films that we know for a fact are currently being developed, like Doctor Who and The Wizard of Oz, but it’s possible that we’ve missed something, so feel free to correct us if you know more about porn than we do. We also realize that porn stars announce their retirement more often than Steven Soderbergh, so if anyone in our dream casts isn’t working right now then just consider it our request for a comeback.

 Best Porn Parodies We Would Like To See

 

AND OUR #1 PICK IS…

 


 

1. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

Yes, Battlestar Galactica, the critically successful, award-winning science fiction series that reinvented the original television show as a hard-hitting, socially conscious, and extremely sexy modern classic. A big cast, lots of men and women around (a pornographic necessity) and tons of hook-ups that fans wanted to see, yet the series never got around to. Or at least, couldn’t film in exquisite detail. It’s a great series, we’re all huge fans, and while the parody could be a little expensive, it surely can’t be a bigger hassle than all those Star Trek porn parodies they’ve come up with. Porn, this is your #1 priority. Make it frakking happen.

We’re cheating here and dreamcasting a couple of the female leads. Don’t judge us. We’re just huge Battlestar Galactica fans.

 

DREAM CAST: Alexis Texas as Number Six

For the sultry blonde Number Six, originally played by Tricia Helfer, who better than Alexis Texas, the beautiful star of Cheers: A XXX Parody, The Office: A XXX Parody and This Ain’t Ghostbuster XXX? Nobody, that’s who. And with the magic of trick photography there’s going to be more than one of her. This one’s so easy that we’re just going to move on now.

 

DREAM CAST: Andy San Dimas as Kara Thrace

For Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace, the gung ho Viper pilot originally played by Katee Sackhoff, we’d need someone who seems like they could handle themselves in a tussle. We think Andy San Dimas, the badass star of American Dad XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody and The Justice League of Pornstar Heroes, looks like she could take on a few toasters.

 

DREAM CAST: London Keyes as Sharon Valerii

For Sharon ‘Boomer’ Valerii, a Raptor pilot originally played by Grace Park, there’s a lot of competition, but our vote goes to London Keyes, the charismatic star of The Official Survivor Parody (although we’re not sure exactly how “official” that really was) and This Isn’t the Biggest Loser: The XXX Parody. She can boom us any ti… Oh, that’s too easy.

 

DREAM CAST: Lisa Ann as President Laura Roslin

You’re going to need quite a MiLF to play President Laura Roslin, originally brought to life by Mary McDonnell. Our pick is for Lisa Ann, who has lots of political experience from the Who’s Nailin’ Palin? porn parodies, to rule the galaxy. Or at least what’s left of it. Also, no list of porn parodies isn’t full without Lisa Ann. Wait, screw porn parodies, any list of porn anything isn’t complete without Lisa Ann.

We could go on (there are some men in the cast too, obviously), but we’ve said our piece on porn parodies. There’s a lot of impressive pop culture material left out there to satirize. What would you like to see made into a porn parody?



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