18 ‘Game Of Thrones’ GIFs For People Who Don’t Get It
The immensely popular HBO television series Game of Thrones is just as confusing as it is entertaining. Unless you’re a super-duper fan, chances are you can’t even consistently name the characters involved in whatever sexually-charged, dragon-queen scene you’re watching at the moment.
But don’t worry, we’ll give you the overall GOT basics covering the good, bad, disgusting and even more disgusting. At the very least you’ll be able to sound like you mildly know what you’re talking about the next time someone at a party asks you who Jon Snow’s real parents are.
These 18 informative GIFs will ensure you’re ruling the seven kingdoms and defeating the White Walkers like a boss in no time! Maybe you’ll even be motivated to read the books.
Otherwise known as the "half-man" or the "imp," Tyrion is the black sheep of the Lannister family. His sister and father hate him due to his stature and sarcastic, sharp-witted comments. Naturally, he copes with plenty of booze and women of the night.
Cersei and Jamie Lannister
These twins from the Lannister family have a dirty secret. To put it simply, they're SWB: Siblings With Benefits. (Yuck). Cersei eventually gives birth to Joffrey, the future king and secret love-child courtesy of heavy sibling petting.
Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, Ned's the main protagonist of the series until he's executed at the end of season one. Many seasons and glasses of wine later, we found out that the show's main character was actually killed off in order to further the long-term creative plan, not just to piss people off. It was as heart-breaking and painful as watching Yoda die in Star Wars, leaving you with a "What happens now?" feeling. The phrase "winter is coming" refers to the belief that zombie, snow-warriors from the north are coming to kill everything.
Son of Cersei and Jamie Lannister, he's the worst. Evil, arrogant, spoiled, inbred, short-tempered and he ordered the execution of Ned Stark. Then he forced Ned's daughter, Sansa Stark, to stare at her father's stick-mounted, displaced head, "for as long as it pleases me." Oh, did we mention he eventually married Sansa and had her beaten with sticks, threatened to rape her on their wedding night, and wanted to serve her brother's head (Rob Stark) to her as dinner? Joffrey sucks.
Eminent badass, leader of the Dothraki hoard, and future Aquaman -- this guy slays. With a passionate heart and secret feminine side, he's every lady's dream teddy bear disguised as a monotoned, WWE cover boy.
Otherwise referred to as "the queen of dragons," she is the exiled Queen of the Targaryan family. Gorgeous and cunning, she eventually finds love in the arms of the unexpected when she's essentially sold into slavery for political reasons. Her new beau, Khal Drogo, catapults their social status to power couple levels instantly. Her status grows even more when she obtains mystical dragon eggs and her "children" hatch, making her the "mother of dragons." With her newly found power, Dragon Mama builds an army of freed slaves in an effort to rule all the seven kingdoms.
Ned Stark's Death
The aforementioned execution of Ned Stark epically shocked the seven kingdoms at the end of season two. Ned Stark became a hero and legend, but with a very secretive family history. The truth slowly drips out with every blood-spilt moment, constantly changing narratives and characters' allegiances.
Daenerys Targaryen's dragons have actual names: Drogon, Rhaegal, and Viserion. And we're sure there's a way to tell them apart, somehow.
'The Red Wedding' Episode
Roose Bolton initiated the mass killing of the Stark family, with an Austin Powers-inspired one-liner, "The Lannisters send their regards." During the massacre, King Robb, his wife, Queen Talisa, his mother, Lady Catelyn, most of his army (15,000 men) were murdered following the marriage feast and ritual copulating of Edmure Tully (Robb's uncle), and Roslin Frey. If Ned Stark dying at the end of season one was Hiroshima, then "The Red Wedding" was Nagasaki.
"The Red Wedding" episode was a bloody mess of emotions and savagery, cleverly orchestrated revenge served by the Lannisters at the temperature of liquid nitrogen.
Joffrey Lannister's Poisoning
Joffrey sucked. And within a few hours of his wedding ceremony, King Joffrey was poisoned. Tyrion Lannister, Joffrey's Uncle, was arrested for the murder, and Sansa Stark was accused of being his accomplice. The actual plotters of the poisoning were Lord Petyr Baelish and Lady Olenna Tyrell - and we all cheered LOUDLY.
Jon Snow Leaves The Night's Watch
The Night's Watch is a misfit group of outcasts and criminals assigned to guarding the wall against whatever is beyond in the North. It's a thankless, horrible, cold, dark, women-less existence; basically Wyoming in December.
Bran is the youngest male of the Stark family. His claim to fame comes quickly, as he is the young boy that Jamie Lannister pushes out of the tower window upon witnessing the sibling love-fest. From this great fall, Bran lost the use of his legs, which is where Hodor comes into the picture, but we'll get to him soon enough. Bran is also a Warg, otherwise known as the three-eyed raven. He has the ability to look into the eyes of animals and control them, seeing whatever they see and controlling their actions. It's just like Being John Malcovich except when Bran's done "warging" he doesn't end up on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike. Mostly he just sits by a tree with a face carved in it and stares creepily into the beyond. Bran develops his "warging" beyond just animals, eventually he quantum leaps into other humans, including Hodor.
He may be a simple house servant for the Stark family, but he is the most lovable hunk of grunts that ever meandered the seven kingdoms. He literally carries Bran around as a backpack, protecting him with every step. Eventually, Hodor dies (yeah, we said it) and it's unfortunate. There's a mildly confusing, Back to the Future meets "time travel-warging" gone wrong scenario between Bran and Hodor which leads to Hodor's dramatic demise. In order to save Bran, he holds a door closed, scream-grunting, "hold the door, hold the door" over and over as White Walkers take him and the door down for good.
Jon Snow Dies, Then Un-Dies
Jon Snow dies by the hand of his own men of The Night Watch. They label Jon a traitor and plunge a knife into his chest as all of us collectively spewed out our adult beverage and began mentally running down the list of other shows to watch on Sunday nights. Good thing for Jon, and the show's fans, that Milesandre, the Priestess of the Red God, was able to resurrect Jon via a great haircut and some Valyrian magic words. Jon gasps air and comes back to life as the episode finishes, equally breathing life back into our faith that Game of Thrones isn't out to destroy our souls.
Jon Snow Fought A Whole Army
"The Battle of the Bastards" pitted Jon Snow against Ramsey Bolton for the control of Winterfell. Imagine a WWE Monday Night Raw cage match meets Braveheart and you'll get the idea of how epic this battle really was. Somehow Jon survived, but we had at least 10 panic attacks watching this scene. It's arguably the most incredible battle scene in the history of anything, right up there with the infamous parking space battle of the upper west side between George Costanza and the front-in-first parker.
The Night King
The Night King is the leader of the zombie snow-army, but no one knows who he really is/was. He's the silent but deadly leader of the undead with a cannon for a right arm and multiple icicle javelin championship trophies mounted on his cavernous blue-fire place mantle. Rumors surround who he really was, including a tie to the Stark family and a even a former Republican senator.
Zombie Ice Dragon
Not just a huge "get" for the White Walkers, the Zombie Ice Dragon is not only a great name for a band but a monstrous momentum shift in the battle between the living and the dead. At the end of season seven, Viserion, one of the Queen's babies, is murdered by way of a fastball on the outside corner via an oversized icicle dart courtesy of the undead's highest paid starting pitcher. Viserion blue-fire burns down the North Wall, giving the White Walkers access to the seven kingdoms. Winter. Is. Here.